These institutions might be more flexible and willing to work with your specific scenario.  

FB Marketplace is probably your best bet - You can try craigslist too but at least with FB you can do a quick scan of someone's profile before talking to them. 

A small amount of movement in the rail of a screw-drive garage door opener can be normal, as it’s designed with some flexibility to handle the door's movement.

While doing an Airbnb seems like a good idea it does not resolve the issue of the divorce and splitting the propertyI still think your best bet is to drop the price and sell it and start your life over.

For HELOCs without W2 income, look into local credit unions or community banks, as they often have more flexibility with alternative income verification and rental portfolios.

Just weigh the short-term savings from buying down now vs. the potential flexibility if you decide to refinance later

STR offers higher income potential, flexibility, and tax deductions but is subject to seasonal demand.

I second what Jonathan Greene is saying here—turnkey is probably best bet given your constraints.

Here’s a quick take on each option:Sell and buy in SoCal: This offers simplicity and high appreciation potential, but with all capital tied up, it limits flexibility if the faculty housing waitlist falls through.Keep current home as a rental, downsize in SoCal: This maximizes long-term profit through appreciation of both properties but might feel tight financially and in space.

Hey @Jon Pflueger - your best bet will be to retain an architect, they typically have a good understanding of what's feasible and not in a specific zoning/area + will know how to handle variance permissions and etc.