The "fast turn" metric would suggest that is a hot property. 

Every time they smoked in their bathroom, they would turn on the vent to get the smoke out which in turn made my whole apartment smell like a ganja lab.

Granted this was on plots of land I didn't pay for, and that are already connected to the city's water and sewer, so there's a lot of savings there, but I'm hoping if it turns out to be this good of a deal I can still scoop up land and keep going

You must have objective rationale for turning them down.

One can write a lot on a piece of paper and tenants will sign it - and then promptly forget about all of it and misplace their copy.

Quote from @Carl Rowles: We signed the lease on Black Friday.

This new "local agent" requirement has given me pause as my property manager has informed me that they will not be signing off on this.

So we just did the best we could with what was available and it turns out the guests don't mind at all.

I know some landlord's show up with something for them to sign or fill out that they previously (on purpose) forgot to give them, but you could also just be upfront and say a visit is part of your screening process - you check the condition of the rooms to see how the unit is being taken care of.

", just sign the deed over to them.