However, if I don’t secure an eviction order within the next two months, I’ll send him your message.

Security systems are easily outsmarted, that’s the point of the initial visit, to case the joint. 

All channels can work.. it’s just that some work more often than others.I’ve got a friend who tried a similar stroy a few years back.. she moved out of her condo and rented it to a family member, using the steady cash flow to secure financing on a duplex that had a ton of upside potential.

Secure the debt by real estate, now we're talking a great partnership deal.

We don’t try further diversification by investing in residential mortgage loans, mortgage loans secured by property outside the U.S., loans not secured by real estate, or loans secured by farmland, recreational land, or oil and gas ,mining.  

It takes a lot of energy to thoroughly vet a deal and a borrower to make sure financing is secure.

Exterior security cameras.

Consider using an FHA loan to secure a 1–4 unit property with just 3.5% down and take advantage of tax benefits by living there for at least two years.

The area has certain advantages like shelter from regulation risk (pretty much as low as anywhere in the country if you buy in the approved STR tourist zones) and long term security (people aren't going to stop going to Orlando anytime soon). 

I know that the general guidance is that emergency funds aren't to be invested, but given our financial security and the fact that we already have a personal e-fund in a safe, non-volatile location, would it still be crazy/unwise to invest this 15k in an S&P500 index fund in a brokerage?