I am currently paying $1700 in rent and I despise paying rent, especially being in a financial position where I can afford to build equity in some manner or get a cashflowing asset to offset it. 

The extra $4k per month from your prior military service is a compelling opportunity to get started, especially since it’s not needed for daily expenses.

I applied for a rental loan as their Investor Select product looked compelling - it had a comparatively low 3.6% interest rate for investors with a W-2.

The very compelling argument was, probably not.

My wife and I bought our most recent primary residence in this manner and locked in a 3% rate on our loan in an (at that time) 8% interest rate market! 

Can you rent, occupy, or utilize it in any manner?

You make a compelling point about the terminology and inherent considerations in commercial mortgages, particularly for assisted living facilities.

Ultimately, we had concerns about the borrower’s ability to execute in a timely manner and we did not want to delay the outcome an additional six months.

If you don't follow all their steps in the right time and manner, they deny any payouts.

Clear room pics, walk-thru video tour hosted online done to a manner where a person does in-person walk through and says "yup, exactly what I saw in video". - A clear, step-by-step process for filtering and pre-screening interested persons.