My easiest and safest bet would be to just build the outside storage lot.

FB Marketplace is probably your best bet - You can try craigslist too but at least with FB you can do a quick scan of someone's profile before talking to them. 

They could remove the nest if it’s inactive or give you safer access if further treatment is needed.

While doing an Airbnb seems like a good idea it does not resolve the issue of the divorce and splitting the propertyI still think your best bet is to drop the price and sell it and start your life over.

You won’t hit a homer most likely but you will be safer and then learn from the real world experience.

I second what Jonathan Greene is saying here—turnkey is probably best bet given your constraints.

15 acres for a lot sounds huge to me and I'll bet you could be missing out on some extra $ by not getting more lots.

Hey @Jon Pflueger - your best bet will be to retain an architect, they typically have a good understanding of what's feasible and not in a specific zoning/area + will know how to handle variance permissions and etc. 

Not a cheap solution, but a lot more aesthetically pleasing and safer than that picture.Maybe some type of spiral staircaseGino

It has been mentioned above but your best bet is to separate the SFR and the 8 unit into two separate transactions.