Our tenants were really understanding when our kids would scream and run around.

If you are out screaming from the rafters or painting all of Facebook with *guaranteed* returns you are asking for trouble.I think there is a 504 exemption for raising less than $1M if it is all done in the same state.

To me it shows no morals or ethics whatsoever.. to even think this is OK.. just gets me.Like you I built a substantial sub too portfolio over the years.. but I also had more than one called.. and we stroked 100 to 300k checks for them.. there was a group here in PDX I think they got this from rich dad or another guru that came through town they did about 30 of these long term sandwich deals. and one by one the buyers flaked.. sub prime borrowers no matter where they are what they are .. are a big default risk.by the time they got to me  14 of the 30 were not paying.. and of course in our area mortgages are in the 1000 and above range.. and they are making their 200 a month delta.. but when you have 14,000 a month negative.. hostile owners of homes that know it takes a year to boot them.. and the folks you bought the house from are screaming.. ( many of these folks the credit was fine )  it was a cluster of epic proportions.. calls to AG to DA  come to Salem for a hearing..

I am no expert and am always willing to listen, but if I have to listen to one more 20 minute lecture on how a property will cash flow because it will cover the mortgage payments I am going to scream.

First...you might want to talk to local RE Investors, & see if there are TRULY any who have THEIR OWN CASH, & are willing to BUY....now.....If you do, just find a Deal, get it under Contract, & bring it to the Investor with the cash.If you work with an all cash transaction, they can pay you a fee....but, not so with a Title Company & a Lender involved....they just scream: "FLIP", & want to run away from you.

The re-muddled single families I've seen scream bad plumbing, bad electric, bad heating systems (usually one for the entire building) and generally high maintenance.

Given the fact that I work a full-time job and time is limited, there are enough screaming deals (REOs and SSs) on the MLS that I'll probably wait to go after SF until I hit my limit.

Once, the wife was screaming and cursing on the phone while sitting on the porch.

That way when they move in and the first weekend they have to break a window to get back in the Townhome because they left their key inside...or on Sunday night the toilet overflowed and they are screaming on your phone that you need to get out there, right now or they are not paying you the Rent...or there is a cockroach infestation with possums in the attic because your Tenant is a filthy Pig and wants to make you clean up the mess.

Renters holding 40 person parties (HOA not pleased), renters who call about a light bulb out and demand someone fix it now or face a bad review, renters screwing up the TV connections - even a couple renting a home for a teenage party that resulted in a bloody bedroom.