I wouldn't call any of the fees you listed above as extra. 

So, for a $60k loan, you'll likely need $12k-$15k for a downpayment, $8k-$12k for closing costs (prepaid insurance and taxes, lender fees, attorney fees, points, prepaid interest, transfer taxes, etc), and then another couple thousand for reserves and whatever else.

I have read in forums that upfront fees are generally big no-no's.

Did you collect application/screening fees from all of them?

They’re “meaner” than me so they charge late fees (I get 1/2), file pay or quits, and increase rents faster and further than I would.

If you are inclined to go down the DST route, I would highly recommend going with a RIA who can help save you on fees and provide true due diligence analysis.

Fixed Mortgage does come with closing costs and points upfront which the HELOC does not, except a $95 annual fee. 

Made some pocket change after fees Lessons learned?

Typically, once the project is done you can get it refinanced via the same bank saving a lot of fees compared to HML (Hard Money Lenders).

Look for areas with stronger rental demand, lower property taxes, and minimal HOA fees to keep expenses down.