I've never bought a house before, and i've never had an income to be able to be picky about my living situation, so i really have no idea what amenities to look for, and even worse, no idea what large ticket items to look for. obviously roof, foundation, electrical, plumbing - but what indicators of those can i actually inspect on my own and be able to see if this house has any major red flags? 

You need to be able to have a system of organization that allows you to scan lists of things and move items, properties, to-dos into various other prioritized lists.  

The best way to learn how to estimate the repair cost IMO is just google the item you need replacing to get a price or go to Lowe's or Home Depot and just walk around and look at the prices.

As stated above, except for any food or drink you happen to order there is no charge to attend.

Make sure you have cash flow, $200 a month is usually what is needed to break even over time (in my area), roofs, ac, and other big ticket items only need replaced every 15-20 years, but you need to build a cusion for it.

Learn a LOT about investing out of state.Research the market you are going into and figure out the best markets.Make connections in those markets and vet those connections.Save up more money and move up from the war zone and go to a $30,000 to $50,000 minimum market where there is less crime, less vacant lots and vacant houses, where the police will actually respond to a call from a homeowner, where there are jobs for your tenants to work at, where there are schools for your tenants to send their children, where there are real grocery stores for them to buy real food (not gas station or fast food).  

Office buildings...Would it be good for fast food or bank where you could land lease them the property and they would develop it and your colleague would just sit back and collect check.As you can see there are a bunch of scenarios you can throw out there but it all starts with the zoning of the property and what is allowed under current zoning laws unless you wanted to go through a zoning variance proceeding.

This item is still a point of confusion.  2. 

I sort by color and remove all of the highlighted items. 2) There are a number of online vendors - vistaprint, uprinting, gotprint, etc.  

Take a deep breath and tackle each item as it comes up, one room at a time.