But where's a body to park their cash safely and earn anywhere close to the 4-5% I'm paying on the HELOC. ?

If they are confronted with a reality that differs from theirs, they may react in a way to allow them to maintain their comfort zone and defend their reality, often by utilizing ridicule, insults, or derision to avoid further discussion and any facts emerging that threaten their position, beliefs, perception, comfort zone and feeling of authority.

No body messes with BP! 

As a matter of fact so that the leak doesn't go as bad, I have this new habit of lowering down the showerhead as much as possible having my body very close to the wall which is very discomforting every time I take the showers...Considering these factors would I be made responsible for the costs to get this fixed?

There are just not enough bodies to deal with it...not at the police, not at the shelter level, not in the community.  

It is advisable to do your due diligence and ask about such things as how long have they been in business, are alternative assets their sole focus, are they BBB accredited and rated, are they a regulated financial institution, have they ever been sanctioned by any regulatory bodies, how many accounts and how much in assets do they administer?

While I'd normally be against higher and higher levels of gov't telling those gov't bodies "under them" what to do, (like feds to the states, states to counties and cities, etc) I think the state legislature did the right move here, even though if I were running the inspection dept in Shorewood for instance, I'd probably be just as tough as they are now because they have a generally older housing stock ranging from middle class to grand old mansions along the lake and why let anyone come in and pull any half a&$ repair jobs on any property in the village?

There is a new body of rules coming into focus that allows general solicitation of private offerings but if you want to go there you'll need specific legal advice before you even begin the offering documents.Your best bet is to make postings about previous deals, past performance, your skills, and your track record.

The body can't sustain over 8 hour work schedules forever especially as we age.

As far as the dogs are concerned luckily it is a nice town with cops sitting around all day, so I hope to have the cops/animal control come when I am locked out and if the dogs become vicious then the police/animal control would be the one to react, not me (again lawyers...)