The only way to get the kind of peace of mind you're looking for is to buy a turnkey property using a ridiculously high down payment, and hire a management company to do everything for you. 

Im thinking of just using a handwritten note saying "I buy houses ,Try me!

I was thinking of using a hard money loan for the purchase and rehab of the building and converting to a traditional loan after as I would like to hold the building.1) Is this even possible?

Since I don't have a lot of money mailing tons of letters and mailing a few a week using a book of stamps twice a month would still take a long time.

I'm sure you would also have to live in the property using a FHA loan.

With using a hard money loan and in some cases creative financing would require some money down.

Through some tense negotiation we agreed they would remove the asbestos prior to closing using a licensed asbestos abatement contractor.

It is my understanding that if you go 5 units or more you will need a Comercial loan and Comercial loans look at the property value and the revenue it generates and not so much credit score or DTI...so look for properties that are 5 units or more.Or do BRRR (Buy, rent, rehab, refinance) using a private loan (mom and dad or invester) or hard money loan.I hope this helps a bit.Good luck!

Secondly when using a Self Directed IRA, can the person privately invest. 

I set up my LLC using a lawyer and also a living trust.If you decide to to do an LLC, your renters can write you a check to your LLC as long as you have a business checking account in your LLC name.