And my lender doesn’t charge extra fees or costs just to put down 20%.

The reality is the opposite - if it's not in writing then the PMC doesn't have to provide the service or can charge extra for it!

Lenders who offer this might be more selective or charge higher interest rates and fees to compensate for the increased risk.

I charged 5 points and 15% for this service on a 120 day loan.

I have my title agent look into it and found out that they are charging us more than it is supposed to be. the amount increases from 9000 to 13000.

Would it be a good idea to start off by asking for $68,800 to the seller then charge accordingly to the buyer for that property with the potential of selling to a house hacker for $110,000?

The risk to the lender increases with a lower down payment, so they may charge higher interest or fees.3.

On top of that, there are countless people here (including myself) that will gladly knowledge share what we know and not charge a penny.

Plenty of times $ are not in the contract...so when you agree with the seller for sale of $300,000, they think that is what they are netting, when there could be charges of title insurance, surveys, lender required repairs, prorated taxes, escrow fees, etc. 

Talk to whoever handled closing and find out if you can charge her with theft or something similar (can't think of the name-not fraud) as she has your money.at least you signed paper work in front of a notary, so have a witness and paper trail.