I can think of mortgage, taxes, insurance, STR insurance, water/sewer, electricity, trash, internet/cable, cleaning (can pass through), supplies, and software.

Assuming the portable dishwasher is going in the kitchen....There has to be GFCI nearby since any outlet within 6 feet of a water source in the kitchen must be GFCI or is not compliant with current regulations.

Same wall has an exterior defect that allows water to intrude through stucco from below due to no weep screet and soaks the base wood frame.

There is no scenario that you hit $17,000 unless the oil has hit a movable source like water or has contaminated a neighbor's property.

Weeds were 3 feet high, fences and railings falling over, wood rotting out, roof with moss peeling back the roof to allow in water. 

If not then we would do an eviction.I assume you did run title to make sure you bought a 1st position lien and there are also no water / sewer / municipal liens or taxes owed on property.

Would need new floors, cabinets, stove, fridge, installing a ceiling in the kitchen (currently a drop ceiling), trim, and running a water line to be able to install a washer/drier. 

Partner Driven was interested in the Waters Edge #A deal in McHenry, IL, due to its high profit potential and quick turnaround.

If it is textured yes, but hot water mopping should dissolve it

But, the water company and APCO will let you know if you have to get a permit and inspection to get utilities turned on.