Also, granite countertops are starting to scream "flip" to me and (I think) already look a bit dated.

My current investor has become Wishy Washy and my little voice is screaming abort mission plus the percentages were far extreme.

Not screaming deals but they are cash flowing with built in equity.  

Nothing screams "desperate" and "control freak" than an owner being at their own open house unless you are doing a FSBO.I actually know many agents that expressly tell the homeowner not to be at the open house, but I know how it can be with a property you love.

Keep your cash in reserves for screaming deals and repairs, then refi the screaming deal and free up your cash again.

The poor wholesaler, who had told the seller the whole time that he was buying it, is brand new to the game, and spend about 20 minutes screaming at me on the phone (most of it I put on mute, and just ignored - screaming happens...) at which point I explained to him that all I did was put everyone on the same page, as we should have done at the start.  

Being a year out of college and crap credit doesn't exactly scream lend me money to fund a new venture.

It'd be a scream if it found a photo match ;)

Banks are screaming for rates to go up.  

No return address screams instant scam or spam.