Wed rolls around and one closet gets done.

Install WordPress, change the admin account name, then find a theme you like and put in your pictures and verbiage.

Most of them the theme is these poor kids having to deal with these useless POS parents, but they can't take them away based on that level of crappiness.  

I'm thinking more of a castle, mechanic's/inventor's workshop theme.

. - If its a popular wedding destination, go to all the popular wedding locations and give them your information.- If this destination has a lot of conferences, go to the conference centers and give ur information - etc.This list can be extended to the type of events/happenings in your area.

He did, but it was an inconvenient time for me, and I asked him to call me back on Wed or Thursday, last week, and he still has not, 4 days later.

There is a consistent theme in the responses you are getting and it is accurate in the broad sense; go with LVP. 

They're sometimes being rented for weddings and parties, with residents not happy it's taking place in their million $ plus neighborhoods. 

At least from every client I have this seems to be a common theme.

Account Closed is arranging one the first week of March in Falmouth, and there should be a regular 3rd Wed meeting of Southern Maine Real Estate Investors Association (http://www.mainereia.com) next week.