Know the law, obey the law, and treat people honestly and fairly.

I won't allow tenants to treat me that way and I certainly won't let them dictate when I can enter my property.

Fair housing: you must treat all applicants and tenants the same or it could be seen as discrimination.One thing you could do is ask for a co-signer if the tenant does not meet your criteria.Keep in mind, a bad tenant is always more expensive in the long run then a vacant property.

are you and your partner both listed on the deed - this is tenants in common where each person would report his / her share on his / her return(assumed unmarried partner)If the property was purchased through an LLC, there may be a separate partnership filing obligation(assuming unmarried partner)Also be mindful, that normally only one person can take advantage of treating the STR as an active property on their return.

Do you know if the IRS treats deployment and PCS the same?  

Or, because we are married, are we treated as one entity with only one primary residence?

I mean it's good to have empathy and emotional intelligence however you have to treat this like a business and not a hobby. 

Lease or not, just treat them like any other tenants.

I am looking at a condotel investment in a tourist resort, which for all intents and purposes would be treated as a STR and I do not plan to personally use the unit.

Yes, there are bad ones out there so check around and get a good one who will treat your property like it's theirs.