Our lender has informed us that we need 12 months of rental history to use the actual rent for financing purposes, or we must rely on the appraiser's fair market short term rental value.

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The translation to this in real estate would be, a highest performer of a brokerage, (after learning the ropes and killing it),then creates their own brokerage.

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And, you don't want to rely on a security deposit offset/fight should damages be sustained. 

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I'd rely on her to handle much of the day-to-day management.Given this, we're leaning toward a single-family home where we can comfortably rent a room to someone we trust.

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Focus on long-term rentals in affordable markets with reliable cash flow, and steer clear of high-cost flips, lower-class properties, or overleveraging in areas that rely solely on appreciation.Good luck!