Private lender will be close to a credit card interest rate for them to finance something like that.

It shouldn’t take more than five minutes to do an initial underwriting.

Even with five bedrooms renting for $700 a month (you pay yourself, as well), you'll bring in $3,500 per month and the place pays for itself.

Only five of the qualifying 25 local cities saw a population decrease, topped by Bee Cave (-2.7%).

Dedicate one checking account and credit card exclusively to real estate.

Selling would likely trigger capital gains taxes (unless you lived in the property for two out of the last five years or use a 1031 exchange).

Credit Karma has a fantastic "score simulator" tool that you can use to project credit score changes (paying off balances, opening a new card, using an old card that has not been used in some time, just paying your bills on time for 6 or 12 months).

To answer your questions here though:Alternative options - I was going to sell all my stocks and etfs, take out a HELOC, and some credit cards to try to shoestring together enough to the deal without a hard money loan. 

Pay your vehicle loan, credit cards, etc because in 12 months all of the accounts you pay out of a business checking account will be omitted from your DTI in the future. 

It would be nice if you gave them more than that, because it takes a lot of effort to move a business (online marketing, business cards, etc.).