I like ceiling fans, they're as cheap as many regular fixtures and add value IMO making the unit show well.  

Additionally, the price point is still cheap enough to find the 1% rule and positive cash flow and it's super landlord friendly (so you will never have to go through a 12 month eviction or anything close to that!).

.#5  If you still think you want to rent, you can get a PM, typically that will be about 10% a month and don't go cheap on that. 

Chicago should have some good ones for cheap.

I specifically need really user friendly accounting features (including ability to sync with quickbooks and print checks directly from the site/software), customizable online application, and online rent-pay as an option (hopefully with free or very cheap ACH). 

Hire someone cheap and you'll suffer for it.If you are "breaking even" after all expenses and maintenance, then you probably can't afford to pay a professional to handle the marketing and screening.

Lastly, price point is still super cheap - you can find deals for under $200k!

You need to switch to properties that are…Less than 20-30 years oldHave stucco siding and tile roofsDon’t have tornadoes, hurricanes, snow storms, earthquakesHave very low property taxesDon’t have state income taxesHave very cheap insuranceI have an average repair budget of under 2% of rent, average vacancy of less than 2%, insurance is 3%, property tax is 5%, capex is less than 1%.

quinoa vegetable soup, and it was was filling (and dare I say, cheap.. must have cost me ~$3.50 for all the ingredients).

True enough it depends on your GC but a good GC isn't cheap at all.