Part of the answer to your question will be found in the lease agreement that you signed. If you signed a lease that told you that you are responsible for repairs if damage occurs, then you landlord may have a case for the toilet repair. However if you can get a statement from the person living below you that the leaking into her ceiling was happening before you moved in then you have a case. However, you mentioned that your daughter spilled a mug of water on the floor and that would not cause any leakage to the floor below unless this is a very low rent property or it was a very big mug. So be sure of your facts if you want to go to court, because the judge will question you about your story. For leaks caused by plumbing fixtures, I have not seen it charged to the tenant unless the tenant broke the fixture. If you did not break that toilet, you need to state that in your presentation if you decide to go to court. By the way, it sounds more like a leak under the toilet in the wax ring than from lack of caulk around the toilet. There would have to be lots of water on your bathroom floor regularly (like not using a shower curtain when taking a shower) for faulty caulk around the toilet to leak enough to get into the ceiling of the apartment below. You should not be responsible for caulk around a toilet as a tenant. However, it is the tenant's responsibility to notify a landlord of leaks right away. You will need to be very clear that the bathroom floor was not often wet with water from a shower or tub usage to have a chance at getting your deposit back.
So now let me tell you what you may have in your favor and what you will need to be effective in court:
1. You must have a receipt for cleaning the carpets or having them cleaned if you did this yourself. That receipt would have the date, name of company you hired or name of rental place you rented the carpet cleaner from. If you did this yourself be sure to put the receipt for the amount you paid for the soap as well. Put those receipts in your Evidence folder as evidence that you did have the carpet cleaned. If you paid with a check provide a copy of both sides of the check to show it was cashed. If you paid with a credit card copy the record in your credit card statement. Having that evidence will help you get out of the carpet cleaning charge. Also include the statement from the property manager that stated that the condition of the carpet was not good when you moved in.
2. At the time of check out, if you have a reasonably good property management company who managed the property, you would have been given a Move Out Inspection sheet and it should be signed by you and the person who checked you out. Put that in your Evidence folder. You said that you were told that the place was clean and in good order at check out. So that being said, no judge is going to look very kindly on a company who takes your security deposit with this kind of documentation. If you have not documentation of these events you need to request them from the property manager or you will most likely not prevail in court.
3. You will need a copy of your rent payments or rent roll history. You need to show that you paid rent on time every month you were in residence. If you did not and were charged late fees they must be paid before you get a full security deposit back.
4. Landlord communication dated Sept 6: This is confusing to me. If there is a leak in the toilet that was let go for a long time, there can be a lot of damage, like rotten wood, cracked tile, need to replace a floor and floor covering, mold amelioration etc. But spilling a mug of water on the floor would not cause this kind of damage ever.
5. The fact that the landlord did not respond is good for you for your case but you need to have documentation. That means you need copies of the emails sent, memorandums of phone calls hopefully signed by Coldwell Management,
a letter from Coldwell Management stating that they attempted to reach the landlord and there was no response.
6. If you have any photos of the damage area and the repair with documentation of that repair including the costs and the name of the person doing the repair put all items in your evidence file.
7. Now go to your local magistrate court and file the lawsuit in small claims court. You will have to pay a court fee to open the case, a fee for service of the lawsuit to the landlord. If there was an active property manager that person or company should also be named as a party in the lawsuit. Keep track of all of your court costs and be sure to include them in the total amount you are seeking. If there is any penalty available to you in your county, for this kind of behavior on part of the landlord or property manager add that penalty to the paperwork you fill out. (You will find that information in the landlord tenant laws for your state and county. You can act as your own lawyer in this case but you will need to be able to stand up in court and present your case to the magistrate judge. NO there is not likely to be an audience, just you and the defendants and whomever has interest in seeing this case.