Bryan, yours is a tough spot to be in, but let me share with you my experience and you can take from it what you will.
As a commercial broker, I can tell you what some of the problem I run into on a regular basis.
1.There are also a lot of borrowers who have been burned by fee grabbers, and as a result, have dug their heels in by being unrealistic about how the loan process works. This often means the borrower expects all fees to be paid at closing which is simply not going to happen. This thinking can lead to a lot of false starts so its important that I take a temperature reading on the borrower as well as vet the project.
2. There are a lot of broken projects out there. The project can suffer from a poor market, broke developer, too high of an LTC due to falling values, expired permits, on and on. I need to see the current numbers to see if the loan request is reasonable and that the relevant information supports the loan.
3. There is a LOT of fraud out there. People are forging financial statements, money spent on the project, etc. I don't take any one's word on anything relating to finances. They have to prove to me they are real and financially capable of closing a deal. It doesn't matter how good a loan looks if the borrower can't afford to draw permits or pay for closing costs.
I could go on, but I think the point is clear. As a broker, I need to vet the client to make sure the project is real and is above water. With lenders being more selective than ever it is critically important to maintain my relationship with them and not waste their time.
There is more to a project than an executive summary, but typically, that is the first doc that is provided. If the summary looks good, I then require YTD financial statements, budgets, resume(s), appraisal, etc.This helps me to make an informed decision as to if the project still has legs, or is a pipe-dream.
From the developers end, all of the requested information should be on hand, so it should be no big deal to provide it when requested. If I were a borrower, I would take solace in the fact someone wanted to see it so they are well informed about my project.
As far as vetting goes. I think it's pretty easy to determine if you are working with someone who knows what they're talking about. I can tell within a few minutes if I'm dealing with someone who is realistic about lending in 2010 or if they're stuck in 2006 and are looking for the impossible. I would like to think a perspective borrower could tell if I have 8 years experience and actually have real lenders behind me versus if I'm some used car salesman trying to make a quick buck.
While I have references, I don't pass them out to just anyone. I want to know that I'm not dealing with a tire kicker, shopper, or an unrealistic borrower. If they pass the sniff test, I am more than happy to appease any concerns they may have about me, but they have to prove themselves to me first. After all, they came to me (in most cases).
So, I think it is important for any borrower to have up to date docs on hand as most real brokers will require it. You didn't state if your developer friends has a good executive summary on hand, but if they don't, then they are putting the cart before the horse and need to spend some time putting one together.
Hopefully, this post gives you some insight into the mind of a broker. Again, take from it what you will as everyone does things differently.