All Forum Posts by: Nik Moushon

@Joshua D. I was in a similar situation with my wife. Not that either of us felt the same way you two do but that we both had a similar end game goal but where trying to go down parallel but different paths to get there. That doesnt work. Especially as husband and wife. We sat down and had a 3 hour conversation to really nail down the exact definition of our goal and how to get there. We didn't talk money or anything specific about a property. We just finally got on, not only the same page, but the same sentence. I think once you can get to this everything else will work out a LOT easier. 

As for the money part. I know you think the truck was a horrible decision but I will add; just get rid of it. Sell it, even if you loss a little. Get rid of that payment and buy your replacement truck with cash. Also get rid of the cc debt. Bite the bullet of not investing in your business for a couple months and just get rid of those debts. These two things alone will help take a load off your wifes view that she is supporting you. Will also giver her, well both of you really, a feeling of not having to work as hard. So if she wants to take more time off she can. 

I would also suggest, suggesting to her, that she follows you for a week or so. Let her see what you do and how much work it requires. NOT to show her that her view is unfounded but to show her that you are actually doing something. This will help ease more of that burden. Maybe she would want to start transitioning for you 9-5 and start working more on the business with you. How many pod casts have been done on people waiting way to long to "hire" an employee and how the wished they had done it sooner. And in this case your hired "employee" is more like a full time partner at this point. Now nearly doubling your potential for growth. Maybe she doesn't though and loves what she does. Thats fine too.

The biggest thing I would suggest is talking about how much money from the business you should pull to help support the family. Because at the end of the day she is the sole bread winner since you bring nothing to the table. Yes you are investing in the future but future money doesnt pay the bills now. Is 1-2k a month really going to crush your business goals? Is 12-24k a year really going to slow you down that much? More importantly is that money worth "spending" to keep your marriage happy and healthy.  

Good luck! Keep us updated.

Theres is plenty of pros and cons to paying off a mortgage faster. They way you are describing is a bad idea. If you are willing to shell out an extra $1k/month to pay it off in 5 years just save the money and put a larger down payment down to lower the payment. Or just save and buy cash. A 5 year mortgage is not worth it. 10-15 year minimum. IMO.

I will say I am one that sides with paying off a mortgage eventually and not keep refi over and over again at a max amount possible. Refi for maybe 30-50% is ok IMO 

I would vote for Kilz. It works great though I would plan on doing more than one coat if its as bad as it sounds. Also I would plan on doing selective replacement of the sub floor. Its worth it for the worst areas. Worst thing you could do is finish the house then 2 weeks after your completely done then the odors starts coming back as it over powers all the other "new" smells that have dissipated. 

 You say a Zebra is black with white stripes. I say its white with black stripes. 

Theres always going to be two sides to a discussion. I've made my side clear enough I think. No need to keep going over it since thats not really the purpose of the OPs question.

I'm not going to think any less of anyone for being on either side. 

 I wasnt saying you where wrong. You either view marriage like numbers or you don't. The two can't co-exist together, IMO. 

 Victor, I agree. People Change. Thats why I said "theres a thousand things that could end a marriage". 

I disagree with your comparison of marriage to flipping a coin or russian roulette. Those are gambling, marriage is not. Those have set chances, marriage does not. Just because the avg of married people divorcing equals the same percentage of winning a coin flip does not mean they are the same thing. There is nothing you can do to change the odds of a coin flip. There a million things you can do to make a marriage last. Not saying theres any guarantees of course. There are plenty of examples of marriages lasting even when they should have statistically ended. Both sides fought to fix what was broken because what wasnt was worth the fight. You can't fight a coin flip. But if you go into marriage treating it as a gamble, as something you just play odds with, something that no matter what you do the odds wont change, then ya...the odds are your marriage will fail bc you've already made up your mind that there nothing worth fighting for bc your fate is set. You let your life be ruled by numbers. 

If you're going to reduce marriage to being ruled by set numbers and odds that can't be changed then why are you getting married? Because statistically its a horrible gamble and if the trends continue its only going to get worse. 

All I'm saying is marriage is, and should be, more than numbers but if you base it off numbers then don't expect it to work in your favor. Because a 50/50 chance with something this important with only two out comes is not something I would gamble on unless I knew I could do something to change those odds in my favor.

I would suggest bring up some kind of compensation. Your house has been sitting empty for how long now? How much money have you lost because of their poor scheduling and work ethics? They should knock off some of their fees or something. This isn't acceptable at all. If they are willing to do something like this then I would consider keeping them. If they refuse I would start looking elsewhere.

 Don't under estimate someone bc of a handicap. Might take a little extra time but they can be some of the most persistent people in the world. My wife's grand father has been legal blind sense birth. Made his living working in a wood shop making furniture. And yes he has all his fingers. 

I think you are looking at this the wrong way. Not that a pre-nup is right or wrong but how will your S.O. feel about it? How are you going to convince them that you are going into marriage already prepared for it to fail but they should be ok with that and trust you that the marriage will last forever anyways. If you go in treating marriage like a business then don't get up set when the other person finds a better deal, bc its just business after all.  I, personally, think pre-nups are a way for people to keep one foot out the door at all times to bc deep down there is something they don't trust about the other person. This is not a foundation you want to start a marriage on. I think you are just setting yourself up for failure. I'm not saying a marriage will last if you dont do a pre-nup as theres a thousand things that could end a marriage. Just this wont help you.

I will add though that I think it could make more sense in a second marriage bc this could protect assets for your children. Though again it still comes off as a trust issue. 

Anyways, my 2 cents.