Welcome and congrats on jumping in!
I have heard that NY is a difficult state to invest in. It is one we stay out of...
Doing a BRRRR from out of state comes with its own challenges, specifically regarding the rehab. Even if you have someone you trust to look over things for you, the rehab on a project can make or break a deal and there is A LOT that goes into a rehab done correctly.
STR might be a good avenue for y'all to pursue, especially if y'all can purchase something retail ready. You may be able to qualify for a "vacation home" loan which would allow you to put less than 20% down. Much more rare to find, but if you could get one off market you may be able to get a better price given realtors wouldn't have to be paid.
With a corporate job and a 10 month old, I'm sure you have your hands full! If you have funds to use, you may look into note investing or lending. Although, you typically want to know more than the person you are lending to. There are lender brokers (not sure if that is the correct legal term) that allow you to lend money through them. This can help you with not knowing much about real estate, but please do your diligence and make sure the company is reputable!
This is not to deter you or be negative. I think anyone that wants to make things happen and has/develops the discipline and resources to do so can! I hope that this did give you some things to consider, and you found it helpful!
Best of luck to you!