@Don Gouge I think nationally you are correct and will be "more correcter" as time goes on. Memphis has some unique problems in this area though that go beyond that.
It is tough because there are also plenty of ****** and unreliable contractors that are expensive. And while there are many excellent contractors that are not expensive it is almost like... There is a pretty strong link between operational scale and financial wherewithal. Its a correlation thing- but a strong one. Almost all of the inexpensive but good contractors are at the very low end of this. Because they are not overcharging for the work itself and because they are not charging for work that is extra and because they are often trying to find the least expensive way to meet your goals (note: I did not say cheapest or lowest quality) there isn't much buffer. When things go wrong, and they go wrong in almost all projects, this means there is less built-in buffer to absorb the impact. Similar in a way to how the Covid closures destroyed fleets of small businesses, but Chili's and Walmart didn't need to give a ****.
But back to the point- It can be overwhelmingly upsetting to have a project go 50% over budget or whatever. Especially watching it happen in increments. Emotionally it is more difficult than just getting quoted double and going 15% over budget... But it is better for your pocket book. Ultimately I think you just need to make the best decision you can at each stage along the way and try to learn from the mistakes. I hope @Bob Beach finds what he needs.
@Bob Beach