The bit about wholesaling being like a job: for us it is but that's because we choose to do it full time. Our end goal to own rental properties so we are building our capital, learning the marketing, and learning about flipping and land lording all along the way (by reading, talking to others, and listening to a ton of podcasts). We feel confident enough now (after a year) to start doing small flip projects and are looking into one now.
We love wholesaling because the risk is minimal. We send out about 200 letters a week, get a handful of calls, and land on average 1-2 deals a month. Could we be doing more deals? Yes. But honestly, the amount of work we have now is perfect for us. The number of leads and deals you get is all based on the numbers. You can typically expect a response rate of about 2-3% for every batch of letters you send out. Some of the deals give us small profits (3-5k) while others end up being much larger. If you happen to find a flip among the calls you get, you're in business.
If letters doesn't appeal to you, there's always the website route. Hire a good website guy, have him set up your SEO, and let the site generate the leads for you. We've recently started putting more into our site and are hopeful this will bring a few more leads our way.
Our first deal was actually the best potential for a big profit, but we were too new to take on the flip ourselves so we wholesaled it. We got the lead from... Craigslist. It was a free ad. Now that's a return on your investment! If nothing else, maybe you could show your wife that you can make a profit in this business with zero down! haha To this day, we still post Craigslist ads 1-2 times a week and still get calls from it. We even have gotten calls from fliers we posted in laundry mats.