Laura Thorne I wouldn't say your experience has been anything but normal. Building relationships is a major part of this business and all are very important. Speaking from the perspective of an experienced contractor, all I sell is my time and skill. There is nothing more valuable than my time. When you ask a contractor to do things that have them spending their time without guarantee of a project, you're technically asking them to put skin in the game when you have none in the game thus far. I look at it like this. Just as you need to screen contractors for a project, contractors need to screen investors. You are being put on the back burner because
1. They presume by the questions you ask that you are inexperienced and don't understand the full scope of what you're trying to accomplish.
2. You stated the you're looking for a "good contractor", the definition of which depends on who's lens you view the work through. From a contractors perspective a "good contractor" typically knows they're good, is well capitalized and has a backlog of projects. For this they command a premium cost, one that will compress an investors budget. From the investors perspective, a "good contractor" is a person isn't so busy, that's needs work, and isn't well capitalized. Basically a contractor that will do work that is "passable" for a fraction of the cost of what the project should have cost full retail.
I say all that to say this, if you're serious, you will have to make it abundantly clear that you want to get a project done by these contractors. You will have to sell them to get them interested.
Give them a detailed scope of work, plans, and a projected schedule.
It will present you as more viable partner, who is well prepared and ready to rock the real estate world. Good luck!