I’ve been binging BiggerPockets podcasts and one of the things I’ve taken away from them is the “why?” So I’d like to start there. I have two, the first one is my daughter. She’s 6 months old, wasn’t planned and has been the best thing to ever happen to me. I want to give her everything that I grew up feeling like I couldn’t have. I want her to be proud of who I am and all I did. I’m young but I understand how short life is. I want to have the peace of mind in knowing that if something ever happened I left her something. My second “why?” Is my mother, but I’ll get into that shortly.
My mom was born and raised in Uganda, when I was 6 years old we moved to the US for the same reason many folks make that decision, for a better life. My father left us shortly after that and my mom raised my sister and I. She worked two jobs to provide for us and pay the bills. She’d work during the day while we were either at school or daycare then come home to feed and bathe us before leaving for her night time job as a hotel cleaner. She would call us regularly during the night to make sure everything was ok. She’d often have panic attacks at work if she called and we didn’t answer. For whatever reason, she’d always forget that after a certain time during the night we’d fall asleep. She’d instantly think the worst, usually her thought being that the apartment burned down and we died. It’s extreme I know, but the 3 of us were all we had. Then she’d gather herself, tell herself we were ok then finish her shift so that she could rush home in the morning and find us asleep. This was just the routine we had.
Anyone who has parents that came from a different country understand how much they value education. My sister and I were reminded everyday how important it was for us to go to school and get good grades. We were convinced that education was the only way that people like us could be successful in this world. And so we listened. I learned early on in high school that school wasn’t really for me. I did well and got good grades but I struggled to see it being the key to me getting the life I wanted. I was convinced that unless you went to school in the medical field or for law, it just wasn’t worth it. But I couldn’t tell my mom that, after all, she was once again working two jobs to put me through private school. I ended up going to college for a few years and then the pandemic hit during my junior year. It was the first time I was able to sit down and evaluate my life and think about what I wanted. I was double majoring in English and Economics as a full time student while still working almost full time to cover my bills and maintain a social life. I was running myself into the ground and racking up debt for a degree that I didn’t even want just to please my mom. Finally, I made the choice to leave school and had a conversation with her about it. She told me I broke her heart and didn’t speak to me for over a month. Eventually we started speaking again, she understood I made up my mind and being her son she reluctantly chose to respect my decision.
I spent the next couple years trying to learn as much as I could about real estate from all angles. I began a full time job as a property manager which I'm still doing; I took a real estate licensing course and spoke to a lot of folks around me who had some sort of real estate knowledge and experience. I also focused on trying to save up as much as I could. I had my full time job, I would drive for Uber/Lyft, flip couches and save up my taxt return money. Within 3 years I was able to save up just under $20,000. I always saw videos about FHA loans and house hacking which was my goal for a first property. I was approved for $250k by a bank and began looking for homes with an agent. It was then that I learned how expensive Vermont real estate was. Double wide trailers cost nearly as much as a single family home was going for in other states. And finding a good duplex came with a price point of around half a million dollars. Combine that with the fact that the demand was so much higher than the supply and I found myself stuck and questioning my decision.
Shortly after I began looking for homes, my daughter was born. The idea of strangers raising my child didn’t feel right and child care was going to cost me almost as much as my $1600 rent, so we made the decision to have my girlfriend be a stay at home mom. After hospital bills, buying baby stuff, paying mine and my girlfriend’s bills and some other unexpected expenses, I quickly saw my savings drop to $13,000. I’ve been able to accept that it’s only going to get lower if I choose to not do something. Afterall, I feel like $13,000 is still a lot more than a lot of people have saved at my age and decided I needed to do something with it. I’m eyeing real estate investing outside of state, that’s my goal, I feel like that’s the only way for me to start. And although I’ve watched A LOT of biggerpockets podcasts episodes, I can’t get this voice out of my head saying I can’t do it. I still feel like I don’t know enough and that I’m getting in over my head but I’m here and I’m still willing to do what I have to do which I believe is as good of a start as any. As my savings declined and I struggled to find a property, I couldn’t help but think about my mom. I feel like I’ve let her down by leaving school and not having anything to show for it. After everything she’s done and all the sacrifices she’s made to put me in a position to be successful, I can’t help but feel like I’ve failed her. I want her to know how grateful I am for all she’s done for me, I want her to be proud. My second “Why?” Is being able to pay her back for everything she’s ever done in more ways than financially. In our culture, being able to brag about your kids’ academic achievements is a big deal. I want to give her something to brag about. I don’t ever want her to feel like she failed, I don’t ever want her to question whether her sacrifices were worth it or not.
I’ve said a lot so I’d like to wrap things up by saying this. Although I know what it is I want to do and I know what life I want to create for myself, I don’t feel like I truly know how. I’m absolutely terrified, but I’ve reached a point where it’s now or never. And as scared as I am, I know I’m ready. I’m excited to be joining this community, I’m excited for any and all relationships that I’ll be able to form and I’m excited to get started. Although I’ve been learning about and chasing this goal for years now, I feel like my journey will officially begin after I hit the submit button.
For anyone who reads this, I’m sorry for typing all that. Once I start, it’s hard to stop. It’s the English major in me. Any and all advice is more than welcome and greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time!
