My thoughts on your situation are borderline political but I’ll try to keep it clean. I lived in SF for ten years and I know the environment you cherish so much. Certainly no need for a car if you live in town. I've met more people from San Francisco than anywhere else in the US that truly believe it’s amazing and would never consider moving away, no matter what the substantial lost opportunity cost is. I even know a small few adults in SF that have never left the area throughout their entire lifetime; even to travel. It’s this mindset and excessive amount of disposable money (and other factors) here that have allowed the city to diverge into its own world with its own reality. The term “I reject your reality and substitute my own” was made famous by one such resident.
You are entirely correct summarizing housing prices are not in line with most of the rest of the country. It is a personal choice to stay and contribute to the struggle there or consider alternatives. The suburbs you considered are a partial transition and offer some savings without giving up everything SF has to offer. Going out farther provides greater opportunities, but more change. If someone can overcome their comfort zone and adapt; they will open the door to these new opportunities. Owning a car, light remodeling of a house, & sharing a kitchen may be significant hurdles for some people who have difficulty adapting even considering it may mean losing the opportunity to have others pay your mortgage which can easily be $4k a month. On the other hand, some may feel these "inconveniences" are nothing at all for this kind of financial opportunity. Some in the US may see this discussion as insane as they would house hack in a split second if it meant the difference of that kind of money every month.
We have substantial appreciation here in AZ because so many people are moving here yet costs are still affordable. Other parts of the mid-west have dirt cheap property because so many people have moved away in the past yet still have good rental income. These both are real opportunities, but take someone willing to be proactive and aggressive to capitalize on.
It’s up to each individual to determine for themselves what they want in life, are comfortable with, and what they are willing to sacrifice to get what they want. If you happen to consider house hacking outside your comfort zone, I think you may grow to be surprised with how happy you can be especially when you come to see your sacrifices early in life pay off later.