@Nadine Delille I sure sense the frustration in your words. I'd like to offer two thoughts. One is very personal, and the other very practical.
First is an approach my wife and I have used regularly over our 20-year marriage when facing a big decision. We study it out. We research, read books, ask trusted friends, ask others who have done what we're thinking of doing. All the things you describe. Most importantly, we pray about it and search our feelings. If it feels right, if we feel settled about it, then we start down that path. We firmly believe that God knows all things and opens doors in our lives if we are on the path that He knows is best for us. If we start down a path that isn't right (many times for reasons unknown to us), then He won't open those doors. In those situations, we circle back, reevaluate, and take a different path. It seems, based on your comments, that wholesale and rehabbing were not right for you at this time. You've circled back, reevaluated, and are wanted to try a different path. That's exactly what we do, and I applaud you for listening to your inner self. Keep applying that pattern in your life, in whatever you get involved with, and I'm confident things will work out the way they should. Not always easy, but the way they should.
My second, more practical thought is to narrow your focus and find someone locally who is doing that and learn from them. You mentioned a rental property or house hacking. I'd find someone who is doing or has done either of those and spend some time with them. It's one thing to read books, listen to podcasts or attend seminars. It's another thing entirely to spend time with someone where you can observe, ask questions, get guidance and advice. A friend, neighbor, relative, someone from church, surely there's someone in your sphere that can fill this role for you. If they want you to pay, walk away. You want someone is is willing to just share and help. That's how we started on the rental home path 4 years ago, after years of desire and fear. A friend shared with us their process, and we started small with one property. We learned and became confident and then grew from there.
At the end of the day, it's taking an informed leap of faith and then buckling down and making it work.
Hopefully there's a nugget or two in there that can help. Best of luck, and know that we're rooting for you!
Chris.