Looking for advice - Divorce lead, how do I negotiate w/ guys ex-wife, they're not on speaking terms...

[Chris Oshea]

Got a call last night in response to one of my yellow letters. It was hard to understand the caller very well because of a thick accent, but heres what I got:

He and his (ex) wife are divorced or at some stage of the divorce

They tried to sell the property but it never sold (my research later shows it was listed in April of 08 but expired and is still sitting there, abandoned)

He doesn't care what it sells for, as his ex is going to get most of the $$$ anyway

Him and his ex aren't on speaking terms apparently, and he said that if I make an offer he'll have his sister talk to his ex, and if she likes the offer, then we'll move forward

From the old website that the realtor set up back in 08, I can see that the interior is/was in great shape and looks pretty new, but the exterior looks terrible. It's on a large piece of land (for the area) in a good area, but looks like hell from the outside. No surprise that it didn't sell.

I'm not even worried about the numbers yet, as next week is the soonest he's available to meet up and talk. What I'm concerned about is not being able to meet with and talk with his ex, who is also on the deed. I've got good reason to believe that the house is owned free + clear or at least they have a LOT of equity.

Should I try and hunt down his ex and contact her, or should I try working through this guy and his sister first?

Anyone been in this sort of situation before?

Thanks!

[Mike C]

Chris,

Always deal with the decision makers directly. Your knowledge, enthusiasm for a deal, your ability to be creative and so on are compromised if you have to talk to an intermediary. This is especially true if the person in the middle is biased for either side (which may or may not be the case here). Talk to the gentleman and get his ex’s number from him so you can talk directly to her. If she is the nervous type, you can have the sister call her so she knows and will be expecting your call or meet her for coffee somewhere if necessary. If she won’t talk to you, she probably won’t sign and you are just wasting your time. You can’t convince unmotivated people to sell no matter how good a deal could be. Don’t try and save yourself the headache.

The sooner you can talk to both the better IMHO. Why? Because you need to make sure both are realistic in their expectations and just as importantly, that she will sign the docs allowing you to buy. If not on either of these accounts, all the rest of the time you spent will have been wasted. A 5 or 10 minute phone call to her is all it should take to figure out if this is worth pursuing.

I would not wait a week to talk to him. Before calling her, I would talk to him and see what kind of deal you can come up with. You should be able to do most of this over the phone (especially since you have essentially already seen the inside and the home’s current condition, assuming it is still the same). Only after it looks like a potential deal would I even bother to go look at it in person. I would also ask him very early if he thinks there will be any problem getting her to sign. If it looks like a solid deal, then do the above and talk to the ex. If he is a crack smoker on the value or wants too much, you can move on without even wasting time talking to the ex. The fact it was listed and didn’t sell is a good thing for you. The fact the interior is good but the exterior is bad is also good as it drives away other buyers who are short sighted and allows you to get a better deal. Hopefully after all this time of it not selling they will be realistic in their expectations. But you never know until you talk to them.

The numbers are all you should care about. Remind him about who has been maintaining or making the payments on this house the time it hasn’t sold (assuming not free and clear) and how much this has cost him/her. You can solve his real estate problem now so he can move on and be finished dealing with the ex. It sounds like that is very important to him.

One other thing I might try is get them both to talk to you at the same time. If they can't be civil together, meet them at a Panera or Starbucks seated in different areas and talk to them individually and see if you can come to terms. Get it decided in one fell swoop if you can't get it taken care of over the phone.


Best of luck

Mike C