How important is spousal support?

Question

Thomas S. · Answer

Spousal involvement is not necessary. It is no different than any other job in that respect. As long as they give approval for you to do it you do not need their involvement. The decision to move forward with investing is a partnership decision but once made there is no necessity to continue that partnership into the job of investing. Bottom line is many spouses should never work together, some work very well together.

My wife was/is supportive in principal but has nothing to do with the investing or daily operation of the business. It is my job, she has other interests in her life. It took about 6 months of logical discussion to finely get her to move forward but once she did it was all left to me. Based on my wife's personality I would not have it any other way.

If on the other hand if they say no way then you can not invest. There are no "tricks" to convince people.

Eric Anderson · Answer

@Maurice Bunn

There is a difference between support and involvement or participation.

My wife supports me as a I take on new music projects and students when teaching music.  I equally support her as she grows and develops in the debt collections world.  We share our experiences and frustrations, and help each other grow and see difference approaches to solving problems.

Neither of us gets too deeply involved in the others' daily work though.  Wendy doesn't write my lesson plans or do my practicing.  I do not run her programs or manage her projects.  We are not active participants in each other's daily work related activities.

Wendy and I decided that we want to get into real estate investing (initially as buy & hold folks) because we both want financial freedom from the 9 - 5 job.  We equally recognize the skill sets we have, and that those skill sets compliment each other very well.

I started looking into REI about two years ago.  I'd share a little about it with Wendy.  I also shared with her that my ultimate goal is to "put her out of a job."  It is not that I do not want her to work.  That is her decision.  I just do not want her to "have to work" because we need the money.  Those who need the money force themselves to stay at jobs and in careers they do not like.  I don't think the approach was very tricksey.  We desire to do great things for other people and our community, and we do not want the 9 - 5 job to interfere with our lives.  Today, the 9 - 5 interferes a lot.  We believe we will work together as REIs, break our dependence on the job, and do great things for others.

Hope that helps

I'm curious... are you asking for yourself?  Or is this a question you hear a lot?

Kathryn Daniel · Answer

I think it's a must for both to be on board as well. It's really difficult to invest with no support from your other half especially when your finances are combined. My husband wasn't as excited about investing as I was, until I convinced him to attend a local REIA meeting with me. After that meeting he was hooked! If I hadn't been able to get him into that meeting, I don't think we'd have done as much investing-wise as we have done in the past year. My husband and I both work FT jobs in addition to building our rental portfolio so it's not as difficult to manage everything when we spread the workload between us. As far as getting your spouse interested, appeal to things that she is interested in. Does she want to eventually quit her job? Build a retirement fund? Does she want to take more vacations? Whatever it is, angle your approach so that it fits what some of her goals/desires are. If she likes reading, suggest some good books. If not, try putting on a podcast while you're driving together in the car. Watch a webinar together, have her create an account here, etc. I hope that helps. Good luck!

Ben Wilkins · Answer

I agree with @Andrew Hughes. Without the support of your spouse, it can be tough to stay positive. My wife is also involved (with helping my real estate work, not with Andrew), and I couldn't imagine doing this without her.

Alan Sue · Answer

I would definitely add that spousal support is important! While involvement is completely different story, if the person that believes in you the most isn't supportive, you are already fighting a battle that you should be fighting together on alone.  Especially in the beginning, it can be difficult, but having a good sit down conversation and explaining why you think this is a good idea, and even coming at it from the other direction by pointing out of the dangers and such, shows that this isn't some get rich quick scheme you heard about on the internet, but a well thought out plan you have.

That being said, my wife is Japanese, and the culture of Japan is save save save. Investing, even in stocks/mutual funds/almost anything is very rare, and met with surprise when talked about. The plus for me in that sense, as we had a good amount of capital to work with, but getting over the its ok to do this hump took a little while. We are definitely at the beginning of our real estate journey, but after researching, and conversations with my wife she was on board with me going through with a first deal, and after seeing how that one goes open to more.

You of course know your spouse the best, but try to think of it from their point of view and what their main concern is. One of my wife's big concerns was would this take me away from my current job and passion, and drive me to quitting and doing real estate full time in America(we currently live in Japan). My strategy going in all of this is definitely not that, but to simply buy&hold to increase our monthly cashflow, and while I know all of this because I've been reading and listening to as much as I can, it is more difficult to get on the same level, but that is our job to help communicate that, and explain as best we can I think!

Michael Hayworth · Answer

I was an entrepreneur long before I started investing in real estate. My wife said the right things about being supportive, but ultimately, really wanted me to have the "security" of a good-paying job. She was always concerned that we were one wrong move away from losing it all, whereas my attitude was, "Hey, if I lose it all, I'll make more."

So.....now I'm single. Problem solved!

Andrew Hughes · Answer

I would think having your spouse on board with what you are doing it a must. As far as your spouse helping you with this business, that is probably not necessary. My wife is heavily involved though and it is a huge help.

Michael Le · Answer

I think it's icing on the cake if you invest together but I don't think it's necessary that they are interested in participating. What I do think is critical is that they are onboard with why you are doing it and why it's important. Because you will spend a lot of long hours doing this, they need to be understanding. Along that vein, let them read Rich Dad Poor Dad. While I don't think that book tells you in any detail How to invest, it definitely is great at telling you Why to invest.

Thomas S. · Answer

@Michael Hayworth

"So.....now I'm single. Problem solved!"

The supreme ability to wake up every morning and never have to require any other persons permission or approval for anything. If there were a heaven that would be it.

How important is spousal support?

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