Poem I wrote about being a landlord

[Jerrad Shepherd]

I am blessed to be bored,

living life as a landlord.

Business is grand when everything’s slow,

that’s the time to be saving my dough.

No shortage of stunning problems to face,

still way better than running the rat-race.

Meeting some applicants at the units I show, leaves me shaking my head like ah hell no! Wondering when I will get paid all my rent,

then the sob stories all the money got spent.

Trying like mad to elude any feud,

back of my mind afraid to be sued.

Constantly looking for that next deal to buy, then getting outbid like a poke in the eye. Hours and hours of work on my phone,

talking to people but feeling alone.

But when things start to feel sour,

I just think of the dollars per hour!

[Karl B.]

I like it! This is going to be a fun thread!

Become one of my tenants you will not
For I looked you up on Facebook and saw posts about pot

You're not moving in as I don't like that smoke
And I also saw that post about you being broke

I also looked you up on the court docket site
Goodness you must really love to fight

Battery, harassment and terroristic threats
Know who is better trained than you? My pets!

I like well-mannered tenants who pay on time
I'm the landlord Marshall Mathers oh watch how I rhyme

I admit we're not rappers but give me a break
Because on the bright side, we all have more street cred than Drake

So turn up the volume, do the landlord shuffle
And if you don't like my flow then let's kerfuffle