How do you know if a mentor (or person) is full of s%!t

Question

Often times I'll meet people who seem to be successful, and we seem to get along, and they seem to be interested in helping / working with me, but they turn out to be full of sh!t.

I had met this woman who seemed cool. She was a real estate broker. We met twice prior and all was well, then she wound up being 3 hours late to our next meeting.

Then I met a mortgage broker who seemed successful. Talked the game. Then said they we're going to pay for and sponsor my mortgage license and kept lying saying each week that next week they were going to do it. This continued for a month. Once the mortgage class deadline came and went, I stopped communicating with them.

At what point does patience wear thin and you say forget them?

How far do i bend before I'm doing myself a disservice?

Im the most patient person I know so I feel I might be wasting valuable time on people who don't deserve my time.

Is there a general rule?  Late 15 minutes once. I forgive. Late 2 hours without a damn good gift and excuse, leave me alone.

Thanks In Advance

Linda Weygant · Answer

Sounds like your poo-meter works pretty well.  I don't think you need advice on how to recognize it at all.

For appointments, I give people 20 minutes with no phone call.  30 minutes if it's bad weather.  For anything else, I give it a pretty decent sniff test.  If it smells like poo, it's probably poo.  I don't need to wait until I'm scraping it off my shoes to avoid it and it sounds like you don't either.

Account Closed · Answer

Study on your own.  Knowledge really is power.  Nobody can BS you, when you already know the answers.

And a true mentor, in my opinion, will have no financial cost to you.  And how many people are willing to share their knowledge for free?  You might be able to find some retired person who volunteers at the Small Business Administration who will be an honest mentor to you.  Anyone else offering to be your mentor, I think you should be wary of.

Teach yourself and come to forums like this where people are willing to share their knowledge with you for free.   Take classes, read books.  There is no easy way to becoming an expert or successful.

And there is no such thing as a successful professional who shows up 2 hours late.

Andrew Syrios · Answer

I think the big key is what kind of record do they have. If they have a successful real estate business that you can tangibly see, then they are probably legit. If they talk a big game but have nothing to show for it, they are probably full of....

James DeRoest · Answer

It's about manners, class and an attitude to money.

Not so much a mentor thing. The people you want to keep close, are the ones who pay for dinner. I'm not saying that you should mooch but it's very interesting to see who puts their hand in their pocket when the bill arrives.

Someone who has plenty of income doesn't worry about a $300-400+ dinner bill. They pay it, they won't make much mention of it, it's done. Doesn't mean you don't thank them and acknowledge them, as that's just good manners.

But when someone has real class and power, dinner is never issue.

For instance, you sit at my table, we pay for dinner. I don't care if you eat lobster and take home a box. And frankly, I don't care if I always buy dinner. If I'm struggling to pay your $50-100 part of the bill - then I have much bigger problems.

It's not that money isn't important, it is, but the small time, small minded, small brained, small wallet people, generally are also tight, mean, and not as wealthy as they make out.

It was very telling when we had dinner with that dreadful wholesaler creature a few weeks ago, when the bill came, he instantly said "we'll split it" to the waitress, we politely declined and asked the waitress to make it a single bill that we would pay. I looked up the wholesaler on public records when I got home - and there it was - clear as day - a $60k IRS tax lien from 2 years ago. So all the talk about "success" blah blah blah was all BS.

Be the guy who pays for dinner. But don't ever mention that you ever bought dinner to your guests.

Randy E. · Answer

I would slow down trying to pick up a hands-on mentor at this point.

Instead, read BP articles and the forum and listen to BP podcasts as much as you can.

Most community colleges offer classes for getting your real estate license.  The classes are usually reasonably priced.  They usually take a few weeks, but what's the hurry.  It's a lot cheaper than one of those quickie weekend classes where you may or may not actually learn enough to be useful.

I took a community college RE course 20 years ago, and the slow pace was great because it gave me enough time to actually read and absorb the information in the text book.  I passed the test for my brokers license, but never got it or sold real estate.  However, the knowledge I earned through that course has been invaluable in preparing me for investing in real estate.

After you complete the class and take and pass the license exam, that will be a good time to try to hang your shingle with a RE company.  If you show how much you're willing to do for yourself on your own, a broker might be willing to take you own and let you learn from his/her organization.

Good luck.

Hattie Dizmond · Answer

@Martin Sterling

I completely agree with @Linda Weygant that if it smells like it...it usually is.  But, it sounds like Colorado is a little more laid back than what I would expect.  It's 2015.  99.9% of everyone in business is walking around with a smart phone.  If it's business and your more than 5-min late, I had better have a text.  Anything else, unless there was an accident, and you were in it, is unacceptable.  I hold myself to the same standard.  Texting while driving is not cool, but I can speak my text, so no excuses.

As for mentors...there are people who will give freely, without regard to what they get in return.  There are people who have been helped along their way and simply believe that is the way you are supposed to approach life.  Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of those people, but they do exist.  There are people right here on BP who will freely give of their time to help you understand things, provide insight and encouragement, and just act as a sounding board.  Educate yourself, then use those people to validate that you have grasped what it is you're studying.

Jai Reddy · Answer

@Martin Sterling

In my case, I realized this wealth consultant didn't give a shit about our appointment because I didn't have the kind of financial wealth to be his client.

First Meeting

I didn't go dressed like I had money (I didn't have a lot of money at that time, but wife was beginning to bring a lot of W2 income and I wanted to be proactive in making the right moves for taxes and wealth management). In the short amount of time I spent with him, he tried to give me a quick 1 minute rundown on an annuity. I looked at it and didn't say anything. He gathered my W2s in an envelope and said he will send it off to his accountant to file taxes.

Second and Third Meetings

Now that he had an opportunity to see how much income and assets I had, he decided its not worth keeping his appointments with me.

My Conclusion

It is OK if my and not worth his time, or another real estate agents time due to my current networth. BUT DONT EVER STAND UP OTHERS FOR AN APPOINTMENT YOU AGREED TO. CANCEL IT IF YOU REALIZE IT IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.

Kevin Fletcher · Answer

How do you know if a mentor (or person) is full of s%!t

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