Top 10 guest calls for help so far in 2022

[Collin Hays]

I am always fascinated at the things guests encounter at cabins in the Smokies.  We keep a log of things that we have physically had to go out and address.  So far for 2022, this is our "ESPN Top 10" list:

1.  "There's a white skunk stuck in the fireplace and the house reeks."  Gee I wonder why?

2.  "Woodpeckers are waking us up every morning."  Yes indeed!  Seems those notorious carpenter bees have larvae in the soffits and the woodpeckers are hunting for some breakfast.

3.  "We can't get up the hill."   Yes, as it turns out, you're on the wrong road!  

4.  "We have bed bugs!"  No, you have shingles!

5.  "Our daughter got bitten by a bunch of wasps!"   Well, those are yellow jackets, but we'll kill them anyway.

6.  "Our son has a fish hook in his eye and we don't know what to do"   We helped them get to an urgent care center.

7.  "There are copperheads under the hot tub!"  Actually, those are harmless water snakes.  And snakes LOVE hot tubs.

8.  "We've locked ourselves out of the cabin and the combination isn't working!"  Electronic door locks work great, until they don't.  

9.  "There are centipedes all over the back deck!"   Those are millipedes, and they are plentiful certain times of the year.

10. "There are a bunch of birds fluttering around under the deck after dark and they are scaring the kids."  Those are bats, and they keep you from getting eaten up by mosquitos.  

[Nathan Gesner]

Who would have thought one would encounter so much nature out in nature?