Bipolar Tenant...I hit the crazy lottery!

Bipolar Tenant...I hit the crazy lottery!

Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
I'm posting to vent and maybe get some advice. I have a tenant that I have realized is Bipolar and has some serious mood swings and gets very negative verbally attacking me.

She has one of my more challenging units that is street level, with all the living room windows right out on to the sidewalk with no setback/yard. So, people can look into the unit if the windows or blinds are open, also, you can hear cars parking(loud stereos), random homeless people walking by talking to themselves, the dumpster being rolled out and emptied M,W,F etc. basically all the little special joys of living in dense urban environment. So, it's not like there isn't things to dislike or be frustrated with, but, very few that I can actually control or change.

also, the building occasionally has some petty theft of packages. The doors close lock properly, but occasionally people get buzzed in or follow a tenant in, despite the fact we constantly send out reminder letters about building security and best practices.

We have security cameras and are actively involved in coordinating withe police and city council members.

Still every time something happens this one tenant acts like its my fault and then leaves a bunch of messages about what horrible person I am and how badly I manage the place, etc,etc. Mind you, when she is a good mood, she is asking me to hire her as an assistant because she is interested in RE.

She always ends up apologizing later, but, it's starting to really get on my nerves. I have given her the " if you feel that way, you should move." ultimatum. She just back pedals and eventually calms down and apologizes when she is not in that mood swing.

I'm just getting annoyed at the occasional full fledged assault on my character, like I'm some kind of emotional punching bag.


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Real Estate Broker · Hyde Park Tampa, FL · Member since 2019 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y

I have a slightly different take on this:  it's your fault.  When she pulled this tantrum stuff on you the first time, you didn't end it there.  And, now that this is a common and repeated event with her, you feel like a punching bag.  You never should have been "the bag" in the first place.  Tenants have the right to the peaceful use of their rental..."peaceful" doesn't mean silent - but normal for it's location.  I recommend that you send her a letter/email (have it in writing) and be factual; one thing that emotional people can't emote over are facts.  Advise her that:

1.  All future contact must be submitted via email.  (And, then block her; enforce this boundary).

2.  Any activity that she deems is criminal in nature is to be immediately reported to the police - not you.  Remind her that you have provided security measures like cameras and a secure entry but it is the tenant's responsibility to ensure that the entry is secure and that police are notified of criminal issues.

3.  You recommend that she keep her blinds closed to ensure her privacy.  Point out that the location "is what it is" and remind her that most people embrace the urban vibe and find ways to create their personal, peaceful space.  You hope she will do the same and enjoy "the remaining time on your lease." 

Sign your name and be done.

And, I don't think she's Bipolar...I think she's an immature, entitled, manipulative brat - an emotional vampire. Get off her roller coaster and stay off.  She may escalate her rant to get your attention after receiving the letter - don't take the bait. Don't respond to inappropriate behavior. Once she knows that you're no longer giving her an audience, she will stop.  

She's not worth your time and attention - so don't give it to her.  (And, FYI...I know this because "I've been there, done that" repeatedly. I finally realized that I was enabling it so now I refuse to engage in it at all.  Horrified them, freed me!)  

See this reply in the discussion

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  • Bjorn AhlbladPro Member
    Investor · Shelton, WA · Member since 2017 · 6k+ posts · 6k+ votes
    6y

    @Isaac S.that's a tough one Isaac! It does remind me of a girlfriend I once had..........she had Multiple Personality Syndrome. 3 of her Personalities were really great; two of them knew each other the third did not know of the other two. 

    Then there was one personality that was a witch-kinda like the bad half of yours. That one did not really know me and was openly hostile-what are you doing here!! kind of thing. Fortunately that one rarely came out and disappeared fairly quickly.

    WoW! That was a trip down memory lane! Thanks! Sorry I can't help. ;))

  • Thorold, Ontario · Member since 2016 · 62 posts · 58 votes
    6y

    I can relate 100%!

    I have a close family member that has BD and a tenant that speaks as if she does too. They are living a different life, unaware of how much is involved and how much we actually deal with on a day to day basis. Don't let it get under your skin. Help when you can but sometimes not responding is just as effective. OR call them instead of texting/emailing and ask them what you can do to help. If they rant and keep babbling on just assure them you can help in any way... sometimes they just eventually hang up and then a week or two or three goes by and everything carries on. 

    Best of luck!

  • Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
    6y

    @Isaac S.

    Clearly you need to have the Talk. There's a big red line of hostility in the landlord-tenant relationship that, according to you, this tenant has crossed and tried to dance back over again. Explain to her you're not going to tolerate it, that you have minimal control over the issues she's pointing out and are doing your best on those issues you can do something about.

    But ignoring it and continuing to absorb it isn't going to help.

  • Investor · Akron, OH · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    6y

    @Isaac S. That is tough. Did she tell you she has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder? I'm just curious people with borderline personality disorders often act similarly. In any event, when it comes to  disordered tenants, it's not about the disorder it's about the behavior. Usually, I'll let people rant as long as they don't start making threats (direct or veiled). That for me is a line in the sand. If I knew the tenant ACTUALLY had a diagnosis and was in treatment, I might tell her that threats are never ok and give her one more chance.  If this tenant isn't on a month-to-month lease I'd start counting the days until I could get her on a month-to-month. Also, if the tenant violates the existing lease you can offer her a new month-to-month lease rather enforcing the violation of the existing lease.

  • Real Estate Agent · Naples, FL · Member since 2016 · 298 posts · 268 votes
    6y

    Is the unit hard to rent? Time to give her the notice to vacate 

  • Real Estate Broker · Hyde Park Tampa, FL · Member since 2019 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    6y

    I have a slightly different take on this:  it's your fault.  When she pulled this tantrum stuff on you the first time, you didn't end it there.  And, now that this is a common and repeated event with her, you feel like a punching bag.  You never should have been "the bag" in the first place.  Tenants have the right to the peaceful use of their rental..."peaceful" doesn't mean silent - but normal for it's location.  I recommend that you send her a letter/email (have it in writing) and be factual; one thing that emotional people can't emote over are facts.  Advise her that:

    1.  All future contact must be submitted via email.  (And, then block her; enforce this boundary).

    2.  Any activity that she deems is criminal in nature is to be immediately reported to the police - not you.  Remind her that you have provided security measures like cameras and a secure entry but it is the tenant's responsibility to ensure that the entry is secure and that police are notified of criminal issues.

    3.  You recommend that she keep her blinds closed to ensure her privacy.  Point out that the location "is what it is" and remind her that most people embrace the urban vibe and find ways to create their personal, peaceful space.  You hope she will do the same and enjoy "the remaining time on your lease." 

    Sign your name and be done.

    And, I don't think she's Bipolar...I think she's an immature, entitled, manipulative brat - an emotional vampire. Get off her roller coaster and stay off.  She may escalate her rant to get your attention after receiving the letter - don't take the bait. Don't respond to inappropriate behavior. Once she knows that you're no longer giving her an audience, she will stop.  

    She's not worth your time and attention - so don't give it to her.  (And, FYI...I know this because "I've been there, done that" repeatedly. I finally realized that I was enabling it so now I refuse to engage in it at all.  Horrified them, freed me!)  

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    6y

    i have a building like this .except all the tenants are cray cray as Jill would say .one of them is certified top shelf class A bat $&t crazy Schizophrenic . Very paranoid very erratic in behavior ., very wild mood swings and has even gotten lippy and hung up on me yet he still pays and I accept his insanity . Maybe his craziness is wearing off on me lol Low income areas are full of this type and it’s just part of the rental business in depressed neighborhoods. You gotta learn to make money in the mess and meet people wherever they are at in life . I always tell myself if things get too crazy and the inmates take over the asylum I will lease the building to our local sanitarium and I’m pretty sure the IRS permits the purchase of rubber lining for the walls and straight jackets as tax write offs

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    6y

    My advice is don’t bother posting notices extra pressure and having Nat King Cole fireside chats with her about her conduct . If she’s nuts there’s nothing your going to do or say that is going to alter that .its just part of who she is . Either bite your tongue swallow your pride keep collecting her rent ....or throw her out and hope the next one isn’t as crazy

  • Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:
    I'm posting to vent and maybe get some advice. I have a tenant that I have realized is Bipolar and has some serious mood swings and gets very negative verbally attacking me.

    She has one of my more challenging units that is street level, with all the living room windows right out on to the sidewalk with no setback/yard. So, people can look into the unit if the windows or blinds are open, also, you can hear cars parking(loud stereos), random homeless people walking by talking to themselves, the dumpster being rolled out and emptied M,W,F etc. basically all the little special joys of living in dense urban environment. So, it's not like there isn't things to dislike or be frustrated with, but, very few that I can actually control or change.

    also, the building occasionally has some petty theft of packages. The doors close lock properly, but occasionally people get buzzed in or follow a tenant in, despite the fact we constantly send out reminder letters about building security and best practices.

    We have security cameras and are actively involved in coordinating withe police and city council members.

    Still every time something happens this one tenant acts like its my fault and then leaves a bunch of messages about what horrible person I am and how badly I manage the place, etc,etc. Mind you, when she is a good mood, she is asking me to hire her as an assistant because she is interested in RE.

    She always ends up apologizing later, but, it's starting to really get on my nerves. I have given her the " if you feel that way, you should move." ultimatum. She just back pedals and eventually calms down and apologizes when she is not in that mood swing.

    I'm just getting annoyed at the occasional full fledged assault on my character, like I'm some kind of emotional punching bag.


    She should not have access to you to vent. This isn't how it's supposed to work. You need to limit your relationship with her. "Call me if there is an issue with the electrical, heat or water. Otherwise rent is due on the 1st, have a nice day." That's it man. Nothing else for you to communicate with her about, end all conversations outside of that scope. You are not your tenants friend, confidant, punching bag, scapegoat, buddy or anything of that nature. Do not engage.

  • Rental Property Investor · Portland OR · Member since 2018 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    6y

    For once I agree with all the posts above. She is who she is. Its not your job to change her or be her punching bag. Let her know via letter what the boundaries are then stick with them

    I recently had a tenant accidentanlly send me a text she meant to sent a roommate complaining about how i am “hands off”. When i called her on it she tried to wiggle out of it with several lies and when i called her on those she admitted to what she did and was actually happy and grateful for my open and honesty way of handling the situation. She has been great to communicate with since. People want and need boundaries  

    So, be the person you want others to see you as. Be honest, kind and set boundaries. Only you can do this. No one else. 

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y

    @Bjorn Ahlblad I hear you buddy, sorry, if it opened healed wounds. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the future.

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Dylan Earl:

    I can relate 100%!

    I have a close family member that has BD and a tenant that speaks as if she does too. They are living a different life, unaware of how much is involved and how much we actually deal with on a day to day basis. Don't let it get under your skin. Help when you can but sometimes not responding is just as effective. OR call them instead of texting/emailing and ask them what you can do to help. If they rant and keep babbling on just assure them you can help in any way... sometimes they just eventually hang up and then a week or two or three goes by and everything carries on. 

    Best of luck!

     Thanks for the advice. FYI, after I posted I googled "working with someone with BP" and they basically said word for word, your advice. Also, a buddy of mine with non RE corporate management experience said the same too.

    Just keep my cool, keep everything factual, no sarcasm, no anger, just cold calculated matter of fact business talk.

    Problem is, I'm very sarcastic, not afraid to express anger, completely contemptuous of incompetent, lazy or crazy people, that are not closely related to me, and even some of them, too.

    Thanks again for the quality advice.

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Jim K.:

    @Isaac S.

    Clearly you need to have the Talk. There's a big red line of hostility in the landlord-tenant relationship that, according to you, this tenant has crossed and tried to dance back over again. Explain to her you're not going to tolerate it, that you have minimal control over the issues she's pointing out and are doing your best on those issues you can do something about.

    But ignoring it and continuing to absorb it isn't going to help.

     Hey Jim,

    Thanks for chiming in, I have read many of your posts on other threads and always agree with  you.

    Yeah, already did all that you mentioned and it has been fairly calm(at the limit of normal acceptable) sailing since then, but, recently she freaked out again and that prompted this post. I'm sure if I ignore her for a while, she will swing out of the current mood and apologize again, etc etc.

    Keep in mind, this is LA rent controlled, can only evict for "good cause", so it would be way more trouble than its worth to engage head on legally.

    Just keep my cool and keep it by the book. I guess it kind of got me a bit off guard, since, I already had the ultimatum talk and she had got with the program for a bit. I wasn't expecting another snap and it was not like she even mentioned the actual problem or thing that triggered her initial call, when I followed up with text, she went off the deep end with character attack and still no mention of the original issue, so I still have no idea what the actual specific issue is in this case, I just know that she does not like me anymore(to say it nicely).

    Anyway, thanks for chiming in and it's great help and encouragement to read your replies in general and here specifically.

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Jill F.:

    @Isaac S. That is tough. Did she tell you she has a diagnosis of bipolar disorder? I'm just curious people with borderline personality disorders often act similarly. In any event, when it comes to  disordered tenants, it's not about the disorder it's about the behavior. Usually, I'll let people rant as long as they don't start making threats (direct or veiled). That for me is a line in the sand. If I knew the tenant ACTUALLY had a diagnosis and was in treatment, I might tell her that threats are never ok and give her one more chance.  If this tenant isn't on a month-to-month lease I'd start counting the days until I could get her on a month-to-month. Also, if the tenant violates the existing lease you can offer her a new month-to-month lease rather enforcing the violation of the existing lease.

     Hey Jill,

    Thanks for posting!

    I have no idea, she has not said anything, I'm only going on google search of her symptoms and past experience with similar people. It may not technically be BP, but, the irrational large swings in mood, where she openly says how much she loves me and thinks I'm the best, to exact "polar" opposite.

    Honestly, either way she makes me uncomfortable...I don't like when people are too nice and overly friendly, too...I am the landlord/handyman, not her replacement daddy or whatever, anyway, she is already taking up too much of my time, hell, too much of all of our time!

    As for the advice, I agree with your suggestions and technique.

    FYI, she is on month to month....I am rent control, so I am totally screwed if i dont have an extremely extensive/exhaustive list of major violations, I would probably never be able to get a just cause eviction, as long as no law breaking and rent is paid, more trouble than it's worth normally.

    Best of luck and thanks again!

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Frank Procopio:

    Is the unit hard to rent? Time to give her the notice to vacate 

     
    I am rent control, so I am totally screwed if i dont have an extremely
    extensive/exhaustive list of major violations, I would probably never be
    able to get a just cause eviction, as long as no law breaking and rent
    is paid, more trouble than it's worth normally.

    But, I'll be sure to update if she pushes me over my threshold with this most recent mood swing.

    THanks and best of luck!

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Patricia Steiner:

    I have a slightly different take on this:  it's your fault.  When she pulled this tantrum stuff on you the first time, you didn't end it there.  And, now that this is a common and repeated event with her, you feel like a punching bag.  You never should have been "the bag" in the first place.  Tenants have the right to the peaceful use of their rental..."peaceful" doesn't mean silent - but normal for it's location.  I recommend that you send her a letter/email (have it in writing) and be factual; one thing that emotional people can't emote over are facts.  Advise her that:

    1.  All future contact must be submitted via email.  (And, then block her; enforce this boundary).

    2.  Any activity that she deems is criminal in nature is to be immediately reported to the police - not you.  Remind her that you have provided security measures like cameras and a secure entry but it is the tenant's responsibility to ensure that the entry is secure and that police are notified of criminal issues.

    3.  You recommend that she keep her blinds closed to ensure her privacy.  Point out that the location "is what it is" and remind her that most people embrace the urban vibe and find ways to create their personal, peaceful space.  You hope she will do the same and enjoy "the remaining time on your lease." 

    Sign your name and be done.

    And, I don't think she's Bipolar...I think she's an immature, entitled, manipulative brat - an emotional vampire. Get off her roller coaster and stay off.  She may escalate her rant to get your attention after receiving the letter - don't take the bait. Don't respond to inappropriate behavior. Once she knows that you're no longer giving her an audience, she will stop.  

    She's not worth your time and attention - so don't give it to her.  (And, FYI...I know this because "I've been there, done that" repeatedly. I finally realized that I was enabling it so now I refuse to engage in it at all.  Horrified them, freed me!)  

    Haha...tough talk, sister! Believe me, you're preaching to the choir!

    Suggestions 1, 2, and 3....check, check, and check! Already done and it bought me about 6 months of peace  because I thought I got it all squared away and that the first time was a one time thing of a country girl getting use to the big bad city...  the building is in Hollywood, CA so the majority of my tenants are as you put it "an immature, entitled, manipulative brat - an emotional vampire." Yes, there is plenty of that with this one and I can deal with that stuff like water off a ducks back, but, the vitriol and level/tone of anger is what got me. It's so extreme, drastic and sudden it caught me off guard.

    Reading all the advice and war stories does help to keep me calm and keep perspective.

    Thanks again for the sound advice!

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    i have a building like this .except all the tenants are cray cray as Jill would say .one of them is certified top shelf class A bat $&t crazy Schizophrenic . Very paranoid very erratic in behavior ., very wild mood swings and has even gotten lippy and hung up on me yet he still pays and I accept his insanity . Maybe his craziness is wearing off on me lol Low income areas are full of this type and it’s just part of the rental business in depressed neighborhoods. You gotta learn to make money in the mess and meet people wherever they are at in life . I always tell myself if things get too crazy and the inmates take over the asylum I will lease the building to our local sanitarium and I’m pretty sure the IRS permits the purchase of rubber lining for the walls and straight jackets as tax write offs

     DUDE, thanks so much for this reply. I had a real good laugh out loud! You will have to forward me your contacts for rubber lining suppliers.

    Also, I see that your followed up, in another post, with some real world advice, which is along the lines of what I'm leaning towards. Just keep moving forward, remind myself to have minimal contact even when she is in the good mood swing. Don't get lulled into a sense of normalcy, because more crazy is around the corner, guaranteed.

    Thanks again for the good laugh and advice. Best of luck!

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    i have a building like this .except all the tenants are cray cray as Jill would say .one of them is certified top shelf class A bat $&t crazy Schizophrenic . Very paranoid very erratic in behavior ., very wild mood swings and has even gotten lippy and hung up on me yet he still pays and I accept his insanity . Maybe his craziness is wearing off on me lol Low income areas are full of this type and it’s just part of the rental business in depressed neighborhoods. You gotta learn to make money in the mess and meet people wherever they are at in life . I always tell myself if things get too crazy and the inmates take over the asylum I will lease the building to our local sanitarium and I’m pretty sure the IRS permits the purchase of rubber lining for the walls and straight jackets as tax write offs

     DUDE, thanks so much for this reply. I had a real good laugh out loud! You will have to forward me your contacts for rubber lining suppliers.

    Also, I see that your followed up, in another post, with some real world advice, which is along the lines of what I'm leaning towards. Just keep moving forward, remind myself to have minimal contact even when she is in the good mood swing. Don't get lulled into a sense of normalcy, because more crazy is around the corner, guaranteed.

    Thanks again for the good laugh and advice. Best of luck!

    Yeah man I know it’s defeating and frustrating ! Rational thinking and logic are not their strong points with these conditions ! If she is paying rent and not destroying the place I’d just keep your head down and move forward .

    Let’s face the facts : all woman are completely insane and crazy anyway so if you accept that fact and realize she is probably just a little bit nuttier than the rest of them then you can get by right ? 

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @James Wise:
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:
    I'm posting to vent and maybe get some advice. I have a tenant that I have realized is Bipolar and has some serious mood swings and gets very negative verbally attacking me.

    She has one of my more challenging units that is street level, with all the living room windows right out on to the sidewalk with no setback/yard. So, people can look into the unit if the windows or blinds are open, also, you can hear cars parking(loud stereos), random homeless people walking by talking to themselves, the dumpster being rolled out and emptied M,W,F etc. basically all the little special joys of living in dense urban environment. So, it's not like there isn't things to dislike or be frustrated with, but, very few that I can actually control or change.

    also, the building occasionally has some petty theft of packages. The doors close lock properly, but occasionally people get buzzed in or follow a tenant in, despite the fact we constantly send out reminder letters about building security and best practices.

    We have security cameras and are actively involved in coordinating withe police and city council members.

    Still every time something happens this one tenant acts like its my fault and then leaves a bunch of messages about what horrible person I am and how badly I manage the place, etc,etc. Mind you, when she is a good mood, she is asking me to hire her as an assistant because she is interested in RE.

    She always ends up apologizing later, but, it's starting to really get on my nerves. I have given her the " if you feel that way, you should move." ultimatum. She just back pedals and eventually calms down and apologizes when she is not in that mood swing.

    I'm just getting annoyed at the occasional full fledged assault on my character, like I'm some kind of emotional punching bag.


    She should not have access to you to vent. This isn't how it's supposed to work. You need to limit your relationship with her. "Call me if there is an issue with the electrical, heat or water. Otherwise rent is due on the 1st, have a nice day." That's it man. Nothing else for you to communicate with her about, end all conversations outside of that scope. You are not your tenants friend, confidant, punching bag, scapegoat, buddy or anything of that nature. Do not engage.

    Hey James,

    Thanks for posting. I have read a bunch of your posts and I generally agree with you. I must admit that you have a very hardcore approach, like a drill sergeant of property management. Frankly, that's appropriate in general and necessary if you are managing a ton of units, or crazy people.

    I'm only managing one building with 37 units, so, I may tend to be a bit softer and more responsive because for the most part the other 36 units get it and act accordingly, so, it's easy to be nice and friendly(without being friends), but, unfortunately that's an opening for people like this.

    Thanks for the constructive criticism!(Said very loudly while standing at attention, with as much respect as fear)

    Best of luck and keep up the great posts!

  • Member since 2018 · 563 posts · 562 votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Mary M.:

    For once I agree with all the posts above. She is who she is. Its not your job to change her or be her punching bag. Let her know via letter what the boundaries are then stick with them

    I recently had a tenant accidentanlly send me a text she meant to sent a roommate complaining about how i am “hands off”. When i called her on it she tried to wiggle out of it with several lies and when i called her on those she admitted to what she did and was actually happy and grateful for my open and honesty way of handling the situation. She has been great to communicate with since. People want and need boundaries  

    So, be the person you want others to see you as. Be honest, kind and set boundaries. Only you can do this. No one else. 

     I agree 100%....but, the thing about real crazy people, they forget about those boundaries. Ultimately, what you said about being "honest, kind and set boundaries" is what I have been doing, and that's why it kind of irked me at first, because it had been working for some time and then bam! back to crazy town..

    after all these replies, some google searches about working with crazy people, and some advice from other friends....I'm reset and ready to ignore her again and not get sucked into any tenants craziness.

    Thanks again for posting!

  • Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Bjorn Ahlblad:

    @Isaac S.that's a tough one Isaac! It does remind me of a girlfriend I once had..........she had Multiple Personality Syndrome. 3 of her Personalities were really great; two of them knew each other the third did not know of the other two. 

    Then there was one personality that was a witch-kinda like the bad half of yours. That one did not really know me and was openly hostile-what are you doing here!! kind of thing. Fortunately that one rarely came out and disappeared fairly quickly.

    WoW! That was a trip down memory lane! Thanks! Sorry I can't help. ;))

    POST of the year !!! 

  • Real Estate Broker · Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH · Member since 2013 · 30k+ posts · 20k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:
    Originally posted by @James Wise:
    Originally posted by @Isaac S.:
    I'm posting to vent and maybe get some advice. I have a tenant that I have realized is Bipolar and has some serious mood swings and gets very negative verbally attacking me.

    She has one of my more challenging units that is street level, with all the living room windows right out on to the sidewalk with no setback/yard. So, people can look into the unit if the windows or blinds are open, also, you can hear cars parking(loud stereos), random homeless people walking by talking to themselves, the dumpster being rolled out and emptied M,W,F etc. basically all the little special joys of living in dense urban environment. So, it's not like there isn't things to dislike or be frustrated with, but, very few that I can actually control or change.

    also, the building occasionally has some petty theft of packages. The doors close lock properly, but occasionally people get buzzed in or follow a tenant in, despite the fact we constantly send out reminder letters about building security and best practices.

    We have security cameras and are actively involved in coordinating withe police and city council members.

    Still every time something happens this one tenant acts like its my fault and then leaves a bunch of messages about what horrible person I am and how badly I manage the place, etc,etc. Mind you, when she is a good mood, she is asking me to hire her as an assistant because she is interested in RE.

    She always ends up apologizing later, but, it's starting to really get on my nerves. I have given her the " if you feel that way, you should move." ultimatum. She just back pedals and eventually calms down and apologizes when she is not in that mood swing.

    I'm just getting annoyed at the occasional full fledged assault on my character, like I'm some kind of emotional punching bag.


    She should not have access to you to vent. This isn't how it's supposed to work. You need to limit your relationship with her. "Call me if there is an issue with the electrical, heat or water. Otherwise rent is due on the 1st, have a nice day." That's it man. Nothing else for you to communicate with her about, end all conversations outside of that scope. You are not your tenants friend, confidant, punching bag, scapegoat, buddy or anything of that nature. Do not engage.

    Hey James,

    Thanks for posting. I have read a bunch of your posts and I generally agree with you. I must admit that you have a very hardcore approach, like a drill sergeant of property management. Frankly, that's appropriate in general and necessary if you are managing a ton of units, or crazy people.

    I'm only managing one building with 37 units, so, I may tend to be a bit softer and more responsive because for the most part the other 36 units get it and act accordingly, so, it's easy to be nice and friendly(without being friends), but, unfortunately that's an opening for people like this.

    Thanks for the constructive criticism!(Said very loudly while standing at attention, with as much respect as fear)

    Best of luck and keep up the great posts!

    Fair and entertaining assessment lol. I wish you luck on the investment. Don't let her drive you too crazy.

  • Rental Property Investor · Portland OR · Member since 2018 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    Let’s face the facts : all woman are completely insane and crazy anyway so if you accept that fact and realize she is probably just a little bit nuttier than the rest of them then you can get by right ? 

    Calling the above out as an inappropriate, sexist comment that is uncalled for, especially as @BiggerPockets (and investing in general) is trying to attract more women. Comments like this are just plain not nice. 

  • Rental Property Investor · Salem, OR · Member since 2016 · 202 posts · 305 votes
    6y

    I was going to respond but after the " all women are completely insane and crazy " remark above my wife said no one would pay attention to my bat **** crazy sarcasm so i would just be wasting my time 

  • Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    6y
    Originally posted by @Mary M.:
    Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

    Let’s face the facts : all woman are completely insane and crazy anyway so if you accept that fact and realize she is probably just a little bit nuttier than the rest of them then you can get by right ? 

    Calling the above out as an inappropriate, sexist comment that is uncalled for, especially as @BiggerPockets (and investing in general) is trying to attract more women. Comments like this are just plain not nice. 

    Mary we all know your a section 8 tenant pretending to be a landlord . Why argue over this fact .. now go make me a sandwich 

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