Lender keeps contacting my child’s daycare

[Maxine Kunimura]

My lender has contacted my son's daycare (without my knowledge) twice now. Not to verify the cost or attendance, but because he is trying to come up with a "strategy" (he calls it) to document that my child care costs will end soon, even though I've made it clear that we have no intention of ending child care. He wants to do this because they have to reduce my DTI to make the loan work. I feel they are crossing two big lines: 1) trying to misrepresent my finances (mortgage fraud?) and 2) speaking with my son's daycare, not for ‘normal' purposes, without notifying me.

Am I mistaken? Do lenders typically do this?