Showing bitcoin "assets"

[Michael Garnto]

Alright everyone, well long story short I am buying a personal property at the moment. Earlier this year I cashed out enough bitcoin to pay off a car loan in anticipation of buying a house. At first they simply asked for proof of transaction, ok easy, printed off a paper with me signed in showing the specific dollar amount sold and withdrawn to my checking account. Now they want quarterly statements and proof the funds are mine along with asking to show all current assets in it.

What the crap do I give them? What they are asking for quite literally does not exist. I can print a "statement", but it's just going to say x amount of btc was transferred into this account, cool that tells you nothing more than what I've already given them.

I know this comes down to them just not comprehending how bitcoin works, but how do I give them enough to make them happy? Or maybe even just how should I explain it to make them realize what they have is all that exists to give.