Sexism in REI getting under my skin

[Elizabeth Beard]

I generally consider myself someone who has really thick skin, but this week is really getting to me. I realize in real estate investing we’re gonna receive a lot of hate, “f” off’s and more. I’ve received my fair share and that’s never bothered me. I realize what we do has a bad reputation out there, mostly from those who are uninformed, and it’s easy for me to write those off in my mind.

But this week, the sexism has been off the charts! I can’t even count how many men have asked me to handle their D, suck their D, ask if I’m single, tell me I sound hot, and more.

But what really was the cherry on top was when I called a hard money lender to fund my first fix and hold. This company was probably the 5th that I had called as I’m doing my research and due diligence on lenders. I’ve never in my life been spoken down to in the way this man did.

He literally did not ask me one thing about the property and immediately started telling me that doing a fix and hold was pretty risky and that I’d probably be better off just working with a real estate agent who could find me what I’m looking for. He went on like this for a solid 10-15 minutes. Never asking me one thing about the property, my experience, what I did or didn’t know, nothing. The tone of his voice was nothing short of an obvious, “oh silly girl wants to do real estate investing.”

Throughout the 10-15 minutes I had to endure, here are the assumptions he made:

I’m not a real estate agent (I am)

I have no idea what comps are (I do)

I don’t know the area I’m buying the house in (I do)

I had no idea what criteria to look for in a fix and hold property (I know exactly what I’m looking for and found this driving for dollars)

I hadn’t done my due diligence on the property or what it would take to fix it (I have)

I didn't understand what ARV is (I do)

I haven’t already determined with a contractor approximately how much it will take to repair the house I’m purchasing (I have)

Since I’m clearly uninformed (because I’m a woman?) I should just find a house that’s move-in ready to use for a rental property (this guy is a moron!)

I’m not really asking for advice, more just venting and/or providing a space for other women to comment/vent about their frustrations in this profession. I’m not going to quit or give up, but this week has just been one heck of a week in regards to how people have treated me. It’s just nuts.

[Erik W.]

I would've hung up on the clown after his first 2 minutes of ranting.  I don't waste time with people like this.

If I can offer you one piece of advice I wish someone would have offered me when I was a newbie it is this: "Treat your time as precious."

That one piece of advice taught me how to limit the amount of time and energy I spend dealing with difficult people, mostly by avoiding them.  There is no shame in cutting into the conversation with, "Well, it looks like this isn't going to work out for you or me, but thank you for your time...good bye" (*click)

One other example is with prospective tenants.  I used to listen to callers drone on and on for 15-20 minutes with all their sob stories and how their last land lord was a total S.O.B. slumlord who never fixed anything and how their ex-husband had done them wrong and that's why they were being evicted and ..... UGH!

So now I don't even take calls on vacancies.  I have a strict "All calls go to voicemail" for my Google Voice number that I use on our online ads for vacant rentals.  My voicemail message tells all callers specifically what to do if they want more information or to set up a tour for our property.  We do pre-screening forms on our website that asks 5 simple questions that weed out 90% of respondents as totally, obviously unqualified (not enough income, currently being evicted, etc).

Do I missed a few qualified tenants?  Probably.  Do I avoid wasting time with hundreds of unqualified looky-loos and tire-kickers?  Oh yeah!

Learn to value your time.  It is precious.  Don't allow goof-balls to steal from your time and energy.