My first direct mail letter and looking for feedback TIA

[Zac Boelkow]

Dear XX:

If you are interested or ever decide to sell your investment property, 5428 ABC ST, please let me know. I am open to negotiating a fair price with you for your property. I have helped other investors minimize risk, expenses, and fees through the sale of their property. By working together, we can net great results that is mutually beneficial for everyone involved.

My name is Zachary Boelkow, I am your neighbor, and own 5444 ABC ST. I am an honest and sincere investor with 10+ years’ experience and believe I would be a good owner for your property listed above.

Thank You,

Zac Boelkow

999-999-9999

[Yael Lederman]

I would switch up the order slightly and lead with the piece about you being their neighbor. You want to establish credibility and trust to keep them reading!