What do you do when your family/friends ask you to teach them?

Question

Recently I have been building more of a social presence with my business however instead of getting deals,  buyers and investors,  I am swamped with family and friends asking how to get into real estate and can I teach them,  etc.  I try to redirect them to what I am looking for and them I point out BP to them,  but they get pretty irritated that I'm not taking them under my wing and teaching them everything I know.   Could use some advice on how you all handle this situation.

Steve Olafson · Answer

Hmm.  Never had that happen in a way that is distracting.  I get a lot of friends asking about it but not actually doing anything.  My kids want to learn and I am teaching them.

Robert Leonard · Answer

@Derek Tyler I get where you're coming from.  I do a lot of networking to develop relationships for the long run in this business.  I give a lot of stuff away that took me a significant investment of time, effort and money to gain.  I get similar requests from those that seem to suggest, "well if you want to help me, just give me your address book and all of your contacts and take me by the hand to show me everything that I don't have time to learn some other way."

I don't think you have to "give away the farm" to help people.  I like to help people learn this business and I like to share my success.  I think the best first option is to allow them to participate in a transaction as a private investor if they have cash/IRA/credit available that can help you to fund a deal?  If they fund a deal, tell them how it works each step of the way.  That's a win-win.  You get access to capital, they get a good return, an education, and they can decide, from there, if they want to take the next step and continue in the business.

Keep things on your terms with how you help people.  Sometimes people who struggle to get things done ("can't do" attitude), are looking for a reason why they can't do things.  In this scenario, you won't take them by the hand and make it all a piece of cake for them, so you get the blame for why they can't do it.

Derek T. · Answer

Robert I think you bring up a valid point and that's what I'm scared of.   Most people are not doers so even if I do help them, they still won't succeed.   And who will they blame?  These are family and friends and you don't want there to be tension with this group of people.   It's not like this is Mike off the street,  these are people you see and interact with In a more personal manner as well.  So if I charge them to mentor them and it doesn't work there may be some resentment and if I don't give all to help them it may be the same.   Idk,  just a little lost.

Derek T. · Answer

The issue is I am building the presence for other purposes however most are infatuated with the process and them doing it themselves.  So they will reach out and I will mention I learned everything I know from BP so start there,  go to a REIA meeting,  etc.   I tell them the process which is find a distressed house,  have some money,  buy it, find some contractors to renovate it and resell it.   However they get upset that I'm not like spilling every last step out,  helping them on a one-to-one basis,  that I redirect them to become investors or if they know buyers,  or giving them all my contacts. I guess it comes with the territory becomes every wants to do this but I just need to find a better way to handle this.

Don Harris · Answer

offer to partner with them on a deal to learn first hand, they put up the money and you work a transaction to teach them. Split 50/50

Nathan Emmert · Answer

Can you get paid for the education through a partnership or are you too busy/cash rich to need additional funds/opportunities?

Frankly, I can't get my family interested... they are very financially immature and scared to death of the thought of investing in real estate.

I hear you that it's impossible and impractical to give them what they want, and frankly you shouldn't need to.  They need to own their obligations to their education.  I think your best idea is to partner with them.  Help them learn hands on while helping mitigate a little that they completely lose their shirt... hopefully get a little kick back in the end so it's win/win for everyone.

What do you do when your family/friends ask you to teach them?

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