Can an introvert be successful in REI?

[Bill B.]

One of the things that I repeatedly see in the forums is the critical need to network. I understand the whys and I even understand the how to methods of networking that have been discussed.

But, I am not a forward person. I am not a trusting person. I warm up to people very slowly. Having the internet between me and those with whom I am interacting makes things easier, but I can't do everything over the net.

Have any of the experienced people on BP overcome shyness/introversion in their REI dealings? If so, how?

Any advice would be appreciated. I must make REI work.

[Bill Gulley]

Tough question! I'm not a shrink, a bit of a social worker at times, but not qualified to identify what degrees of functionality you might be at, so I assume you can interact personally for short periods of time. If you can put up with almost anyone for two hours you may do fine.

Not trusting might not be a bad thing, but you'll need to keep your feelings of distrust in check and not allow it to be known. This can lead others to think you might be wishy-washy, unable to decide if reservations from trust are not revealed. In such situations keep the face to face meeting limited and do what must be done, just ensure you aren't making a final decision and can return later after you are comfortable with the deal. In other words keep periods of distrustful thinking away from those you are dealing with. There are legal concepts of "meeting of the minds" while contracts are written, there still needs to be enough trust that what is written will be observed or performed in good faith by others.

However, at some point you will need to trust others as far as you can throw them so to speak. Most people lie at some point, many "puff" in ways to "sell", when someone lacks salesmanship skills or the ability to lead others or they lack what they may feel is necessary to gain approval (like the lack of funds) many will default to making claims or comments that may not be totally true. Part of life. Your distrust may not be misplaced, the question is then can you continue in a negotiation keeping that in mind and learn how to protect yourself?

Then to what extent are you introverted? You will need to be able to smile and shake hands, you will need to make eye contact at least at times. You certainly don't want to speak loudly but not so softly spoken that it's hard to communicate and your speech needs to be with confidence.

Frankly, all of this is learned behavior (notwithstanding medical issues), so practice! What helps many newbies is really some mirror time. Begin with a short introduction for yourself and what you do, use the same script like a short speech. You need a full length mirror, dress as you will for work. Watch yourself, in fact have a wife or husband watch too, but they can't be critical. Look at your body language, posture, speaking voice and make eye contact with yourself. May sound corny but it helps in building confidence and developing a professional presentation.

I never met a stranger, but what I did do in college was recorded myself in my presentations. You will sound different. Shoot for a smooth presentation with inflections in voice to hold other's interests. You certainly don't want the "ahh, ummm, ahh, ok ok ok, umm" pronunciation is important, don't want a lazy lips or slurs. Try it, it's harder than you may think. This helps you to know what you are going to say before you open your mouth. It's great too for telephone work.

Another thing that may help you greatly is Toast Masters, a group dedicated to public speaking and getting folks out of their shell, check in your area for a group and go visit, everyone there has similar reasons to improve their social networking skills.

No, you don't have to be the life of the party in RE, some reservations can help in presenting yourself in a more mature professional manner, that can be a great asset in any room.

All in my opinion, LOL, :)