Getting Your Spouse on Board

[Samantha L.]

Good morning all. It has been many years since I have posted on here. 

I started investing in 2010 ish when I was still single. In 2012, I met my first husband who was very on board with investing in real estate. It didn't take hardly any convincing to get him to want to buy more properties so we pretty much jumped right into the action. In 2015-2016 my ex husband and I went through a divorce and I was required to sell everything and split the profits with him (except one property that I had prior to marriage that he had no involvement with). 

I am now remarried and it has always been my intentions to get back into investing. The biggest obsticle has been, he has no desire to invest. I had actually had a new property under contract in 2018 that I let go because it became such a big argument and became clear without his consent, it wouldn't be a good experience. Being newly married, I didn't want to rock the boat that much, so I waited. 

I finally convinced him to listen to one of my audiobooks (rich dad poor dad) which he did, and he seemed to enjoy it and became intrigued. This book got him on board enough to be in agreement to finally buying another property. We closed in November of last year. We are finishing the rehab and I am pumped & ready to move onto another rental but he wants to sell this one and the one that I had prior to marriage and be done. We will profit either way, but only one way will send us back on the path of building wealth. It is so disappointing to me that doing one together has not convinced him to continue.

He said it has not been an enjoyable expereince for him, he is not into it, and does not want the stress of being a landlord. I am having such a hard time understanding his viewpoint because he does not manage the properties & only helped a little bit with the rehab so I am not sure what exactly is so stressful for him. For me, I get so excited when the profits fall into place and I look at the equity that can be pulled for another property. Sure, its a bummer when things go wrong but to me, its very manageable stress. I've been interested in this for so long, I don't even really remember exactly what initially peaked my interest. I really thought the audiobook would do it but it hasn't. We have sat down and I have showed him numbers. I have tried to get him to download an app to listen to these podcasts but he says he just doesn't enjoy it.  

I guess what I am wondering is, for those of you that are married, whose spouses were not initially on board, what do you think changed their mind? Was it a specific book, seminar, show, or experience? I'm not sure I can see continuing this against my spouses wishes but I also cannot see me NEVER investing again either. Any tips or suggestions? 

[Luke Miller]

@Samantha L. my advice would be to put your marriage first. There are so many challenges with being married that you really don't need more of them.

That being said, there's so many different ways to invest in real estate without being a landlord. Have you considered passively investing in a flipping fund or a syndication? You get a lot of the same benefits of investing yourself, but it's almost completely passive. If he doesn't want to be a landlord and fix toilets, this is the ideal path.

Start by just educating yourself. If you can bring a solid plan to him, that is well fleshed out, he will be more inclined to listen. Let him know that there are ways to cut the retirement age just by investing in a few properties.

I have a podcast that focuses on first-time passive investors. It might be helpful to take a listen to a few episodes.