All Forum Posts by: Samantha L.

Originally posted by @Tyler Bodi:

Hi @Samantha L. it's unfortunate that your husband doesn't share your same excitement for real estate since it's great! lol Maybe you could present the process with a why or the end in mind. If there is a shared interest in traveling or buying a jet ski you could show how the profits from a flip or rental income could pay for it. The best part about is it you already have some experience to support it. 

 Tyler - great idea. We are super different as I enjoy travel and experiences and he enjoys things and perhaps that's why this is a bit of a battle lol. You're right though, we do definitely have some joint goals. Thanks!

Originally posted by @William Allen:

I am in this same situation myself.  I run 2 real estate related businesses and my wife wants nothing to do with either of them.  I am a full time investor now, work from home, and can set my own schedule.  She loves that.  I've tried to get her interested and involved but realize that it's just not her thing.  I have to be 100% ok with that, but she is also ok with me following my dreams and passion.  

When I first got started I had a full time job and told her that I would have to make some sacrifices to get things going the way I planned.  I also told her that it would be worth it when I was done because I would potentially be able to leave my job flying planes for the Navy, not deploy again, and be home to help raise our family.  And I did that, but it took a few years.  She was ok with sacrificing me due to the long hours I was putting in but it was worth it all around.  I was able to build a real estate flipping and wholesaling business that runs without me (due to all the incredible people I have working with me) and I can stay home to help raise our 3 young boys.  

About 8 months ago, I came to her and said I wanted to buy another company I had been working in the past few years.  She knew it would be another sacrifice for a bit while I got things the way I wanted them in that company.  And it was, 6 months of hard work and some sacrifice but things have calmed down a lot lately. 

She wasn't directly involved in either of these business ventures or the growth of the companies, but she was.  Her support was needed through it all with the kids, the house, the understanding, etc... I think that's where it needs to be.  She doesn't have to love real estate or be directly involved in the business but she does need to be ok with me following what I want to do.  

I think that is the start.  Just because he doesn't want to be a direct contributor doesn't mean he has to be.  But in order for things to work out and do well, he will need to support you in that quest.  Good luck and I hope this quick story helps!

 Thank you for sharing your experience. Our set up is a bit different as I do take care of the kids (4 of them) & work from home for a fencing company & invest in real estate and he works long hours. I really do need his cooperation in either one aspect or another to make this work. I really just need to figure out where he fits best and what his role will be... what part he enjoys and/or in what aspect he is willing to sacrifice. Thanks again.

Originally posted by @Steve Dillner:

Hi Samantha, I’d encourage you to seek out another couple in your community that invests the way you do. If your husband can see how this couple works together and just maybe gets a different perspective on what’s actually happening and the long term benefits that may sway his opinion back to being excited about real estate and building long term income streams. He was on board at one time and can be again. My wife has 0% interest in what I do with real estate investing but also realizes it’s a huge passion for me and doesn’t complain about it. I recently laid out a 5 year plan for us to achieve a $6k/mo cash flow from 12 properties that each generate a $500/mo cash flow at which point she can retire and she’s very on board with that! 

 This is a good idea. We really need to make a commitment to get out more for this exact purpose. We have a lot of kids & he works 12-14 hour days so it makes it tough. My goal was to replace his income so he doesn't have to do that anymore. You would think he would be just a little more excited about it! lol. He has a very hard time with the concept... he feels it is safer to work, even if it takes up SO MUCH more of his time and I am trying really hard to show him. 

Originally posted by @Theresa Harris:

@Samantha L.  It's unfortunate that he doesn't share your love for real estate, but why not just do it on your own?  You can handle being a landlord and just don't involve him in it.  there is nothing wrong with spouses doing their own thing.  You could also look at places that don't require extensive rehab, so he sees that it doesn't have to take up a lot of your time.

I will say that it is equally unfair for him to tell you to sell your rental property that you had coming into the marriage.

 I will definitely find a property that requires much less rehab next time. The funny thing is, he actually found this property himself & was excited about it. It was way out of the norm of what I used to buy which was small, slab, 1950 ish homes. This sweet project was built in 1900, horrible basement... you get the picture. I was hesitant about it and I knew it would require way more work than what I was used to... but... the numbers worked and he was excited about it (he actually negotiated the price quite a bit lower than I anticipated) so I decided to go for it. Perhaps next time, I will stand my ground & insist on staying within my criteria. I was more so trying to roll with his excitement! 

Originally posted by @Scott Passman:

It sounds like you have been doing a great job having open dialogue with your husband to help educate him on some of the benefits, risks, and opportunities with real estate.  It was likely a big step for him to undertake a rehab project with you so that's a positive step forward, even though it ended up stressful for him. Is it just the aspect of being a landlord that he doesn't like?  Or is it the stress of the rehabbing a property or the uncertainty he feels with how a project/deal will ultimately turn out?  If his primary hang up is being a landlord and managing properties then would you ever consider contracting out to a third party?  I know you have extensive management experience but perhaps that could be a compromise that will enable you to keep pursuing RE investments but not place so much stress on your husband?  On a similar note, perhaps passive investing could be a consideration if wealth building is your objective and you don't necessarily feel the need to be hands on with your projects?  

It sounds like at this point your options may be to either: A) see if there are other forms of investing he could get on board with and start there to see if he grows more comfortable with time and experience or B) table the investing for now in order to preserve your marriage.  Everybody has different risk and investment tolerances and while they can change with time, experience, education, financial situation etc., it may be the case that investing in RE may always make him uncomfortable and cause him a lot of stress which will undoubtedly negatively impact your relationship.  Not sure if this was helpful at all, but hopefully you guys can figure out a compromise that will work for you both. Good luck. 

 Scott, thank you so much. It was helpful.

Initially when I crunched some numbers on this property he had indicated he would be doing certain parts of the rehab so our numbers we calculated with that in mind. When we started the rehab, it became apparent that he just did not have the time to devote to being over at the property working on it so some of the stuff that we initially planned on him doing, we had to move to having our contractor do. Of course it cut into profits a little bit but we are still OK but even so, I'm sure it made him feel like it was somehow a failure even though it was not. 

He also is very debt adverse and even though the debt is good debt, he doesn't differentiate... yet. Also during the rehab, my other tenants decided to put in their notice, so we ended up with both properties being vacant at the same time, which of course was another small stressor but nothing serious, and easily overcame. 

Perhaps my answer is to oblige, sell & show him how those checks could continue if we continue :) thank you.

Good morning all. It has been many years since I have posted on here. 

I started investing in 2010 ish when I was still single. In 2012, I met my first husband who was very on board with investing in real estate. It didn't take hardly any convincing to get him to want to buy more properties so we pretty much jumped right into the action. In 2015-2016 my ex husband and I went through a divorce and I was required to sell everything and split the profits with him (except one property that I had prior to marriage that he had no involvement with). 

I am now remarried and it has always been my intentions to get back into investing. The biggest obsticle has been, he has no desire to invest. I had actually had a new property under contract in 2018 that I let go because it became such a big argument and became clear without his consent, it wouldn't be a good experience. Being newly married, I didn't want to rock the boat that much, so I waited. 

I finally convinced him to listen to one of my audiobooks (rich dad poor dad) which he did, and he seemed to enjoy it and became intrigued. This book got him on board enough to be in agreement to finally buying another property. We closed in November of last year. We are finishing the rehab and I am pumped & ready to move onto another rental but he wants to sell this one and the one that I had prior to marriage and be done. We will profit either way, but only one way will send us back on the path of building wealth. It is so disappointing to me that doing one together has not convinced him to continue.

He said it has not been an enjoyable expereince for him, he is not into it, and does not want the stress of being a landlord. I am having such a hard time understanding his viewpoint because he does not manage the properties & only helped a little bit with the rehab so I am not sure what exactly is so stressful for him. For me, I get so excited when the profits fall into place and I look at the equity that can be pulled for another property. Sure, its a bummer when things go wrong but to me, its very manageable stress. I've been interested in this for so long, I don't even really remember exactly what initially peaked my interest. I really thought the audiobook would do it but it hasn't. We have sat down and I have showed him numbers. I have tried to get him to download an app to listen to these podcasts but he says he just doesn't enjoy it.  

I guess what I am wondering is, for those of you that are married, whose spouses were not initially on board, what do you think changed their mind? Was it a specific book, seminar, show, or experience? I'm not sure I can see continuing this against my spouses wishes but I also cannot see me NEVER investing again either. Any tips or suggestions? 

in Iowa if a tenant is month to month you may provide them a 30 day notice to vacate at any time. If they refuse a lease, id provide them a notice when collecting rent on the 1st.

I don't know about overlapping leases. if it were me I'd write an addendum to modify the original lease through the original term changing the landlord name/address etc and write a second lease for the new term. I just wanted to add that some states render leases longer than one year unenforceable and some only allow them if they are notarized. I would check into that as well.

Sent you a request Michael

Patrick,

Are you doing work in Iowa? Yes add me on here!

Samantha