Second Opinion on Direct Mail Template

[Brenden Mitchum]

Dear [Owner Name],

My name is Brenden Mitchum and I am a new small business owner in [area of interest]. My business is buying houses! I specialize in homes some may call “ugly,” but I see the potential beauty beneath just waiting to be uncovered. I am NOT some big house-flipping company trying to make a quick buck off your home. I am a long-term investor looking for property to improve and hold on to, thus ensuring a long-term improvement of the area we both live in.

Perhaps you are tired of being a landlord; dealing with vacancies, finding responsible tenants, repairing damages, etc.? Maybe you just don’t have the time or money to fix up the property and list it with an agent? If you’re interested, I would love to buy your home. I can offer you [$$$, hopefully not too low] CASH and a quick closing with no repairs needed on your part. Please feel free to contact me by phone or email at any time of the day to discuss your home and its future!

Respectfully,

Brenden Mitchum

Brenden Buys Houses

[my number]

[my email]

I am also debating adding some more personal information about each property, specifically. I am not sure if this will help or put off the owner who may think I was out snooping around their house without their permission.

Any advice is much appreciated!

[Jonathan Greene]

Definitely remove "ugly" and I agree that you should be a local business. You don't want to skew too "new" as an investor or else no one will trust that you know what you are doing. You have to understand that if you are using any lists, these people are getting similar cards so yours has to be different. I do think your message is more connective which I think is good (I would remove "not too low" as the joke), but why do they want to work with you? What is one thing you can give them that others won't? When they call the number back, will you answer? You need something else to stand out, but as cards go it's a solid start.

Some cards do better with some urgency. I use a 1031 dialogue which says something like I am closing a deal in your area now and I need to take that money and buy something else quickly...