In that scenario, if that happens, the prices will go up so they want to buy now and ride the wave.Like you I'm not buying, but this is fundamentally why the "Greater fool theory" exists. 

It's important to note that while these methods exist, they may not be suitable for every situation, and the feasibility can depend on factors such as the type of property, the seller's willingness, and your financial qualifications.

You likely won’t be able to cover all of your mortgage PITI with the rent payments that you’ll receive from one half of the duplex.

There does exist a shed in the backyard for storing stuff.

Get my tenants to cover my monthly expenses plus some cash flow.

Or again, you often doubt if you really exist. 

That $200k S&P making $40k would be pre-taxes and on short-term capital gains.

That 3.8% is probably being covered by the depreciation. 

"While exploring the fence situation I also explored the driveway with no easement situation and decided to implement a fee to help me cover the taxes and maintenance of the section of my parcel that is paved and dedicated for your use as a driveway."

I would also consider buying an existing bank with credits already approved.