There are no lenders I am aware of that offer no money down financing options.

I will offer constructive advice. 

I actually offered to pay the contractor $67K after realizing he had no intention of working to resolve the permit issue.

I do not think they offer a menu like the one you are proposing. 

Do any of you have any recommendations for a GOOD company that offers calling services, or a VA company I can hire from with minimal training needed while I am building training strategy for an in-house hire?

Don't throw away your snail mail and pay attention to the "promotions" tab in your Gmail, including the ads.Sometimes the best credit card signup bonuses are targeted (both paper mail and email) and will result in more bonus points than the offers you can find online.Also, if you have a Chase bank account but you don't have one or more of the foundational Chase cards (Freedom, Sapphire Reserve, etc.), walk into a branch and let them know you're looking to open a new card.Branches and bankers are obviously evaluated based on their ability to open new accounts, and they may be motivated to give you a special offer.For example when my wife got a Chase card she got double the sign-up bonus in-branch than what was being advertised online at the time.If they present you with just the commonly-available offers, let them know that you'll just open it online because it's easier and will result in the same bonus anyway.If it looks like you're going to walk away, the banker may be able to give you a better bonus in order to not lose credit for your account opening.Of course they may not have the authority to do so but it's worth a shot.

Especially if I could offer the savings of $260 to tenant for the same number of bedroom/bathroom?  

If so, can you recommend any reputable private only companies that have been in the market for at least 15 to 20 years and offer offer low entry barriers for investment? 

Although Fannie/Freddie does have some specialty products for value add real estate but that’s a different topic.LTV Example:If you had a stabilized property and your lender offered to finance 75% LTV, you could model something like this.

I have yet to receive a single offer despite a couple price drops in the entire six months my house has been on the market.