Sidenote: Where does one get training for this?

My "fluff" comment was regarding handing a new tenant a lease and the throughout the term of the lease you ignore/are unaware of/or forgive the fluff you are training your tenant that what you say is not the final law of the land.  

Here is their pitch:Live + Online + Coaching Instruction Refundable Deposit $4,997 + GST100% of the deposit is refunded after you make 3 Joint Venture Deals with us.Here is just some of what you will learn:How to Find & Negotiate Low or No Money Down Real Estate Deals;How to Evaluate Real Estate Deals before making commitments;When to Buy and when to Sell;How to Structure No Money Down Transactions;How to legally arrange 100% financing;Who you need on your team;How to find good tenants/buyers;How to rent and sell property for top price;The most common real estate investors’ mistakes;Myths and truths about no money down purchases;As long as you dedicate at least 10 hrs per week for training and generating creative real estate leads/deals, the training is free.

Go to their trainings.

Lease non-renewal would be justified, if you can’t get them trained.

This gives them all the amenities of a fully stocked, large house, and living with other guys going through the same training they are, while allowing them to pocket 1/2 of their housing allowance. 

Hire a VA to run my 1 month old business     (since I had SOOO much knowledge and experience to train them with haha)         

Our property is close to an Air Force base and for our benefit this Air Force base trains other militaries from around the world.

Since you view them as an employee you must set standards as to when to "train" them to perform the job duties (rules) that YOU made.

I would recommend working with an equipment manufacturer instead, they can supply the insight and training without the large rake or upfront fees of the franchise.