Get someone to teach you how to do beer butt chicken barbecue. 

I thought investing in real estate was many months or even years away from me and my wife but have recently realized that was a lie and now I have a couple of different options.I just met with my mortgage guy who is an investor himself, he got me approved for an HFA loan of 3.125% interest with a 4% grant that will go toward downpayment and closing costs. ($12,0000 on a 300k house!)

This is a ridiculously high number and it leads me to believe that either the property is in need of desperate repair, he's lying about what he gets for rent (most properties don't say per week from my experience), or something else.I would ask to see a rent roll and a T12 for the property before going any further.

The 180-200K price range lies outside, so this test fails as well.These are only screening tests... but they are a pretty good indicator of potential success.Things to do:1) Keep an eye out for properties that you can buy below the current market level.

You lied on your mortgage app that said you would move in within 60 days and live there for a year.

I started off and paid someone who completely lied about credentials $10k to start the job.

MAYBE if it was lying on its back so gravity was on your side.

As stated you can’t lie about the purchase price.

I would argue that there is actually a third side - the edge of the coin -  and that is where my business and specialty lies.

In the ridiculous state of California, I would pay them in chickens just to get someone out.Have them meet you at the bank so you can hand it to them and walk away.