I really only see 3 options: 1. have the upper unit take the exterior route, 2. install stacked laundry in the upper unit, or 3. work something out with the bottom unit to allow occasional access for the upper tenants to get to the basement for laundry.

Real estate agents are usually good for people who only buy one home or the occasional property, but if you're doing this full time you already know the marketing, opening escrow, title reports, closing, etc, etc.

And I got four huge coconut trees that occasionally drop bombs randomly in the front of the property.

Most tenants I have had so far wish to socialize with us and hang out during weekends.While we do enjoy socializing it’s not a necessity and oblige during occasional weekends.

Just don’t discount finding a diamond in the rough occasionally!

Occasionally I can find someone who will rent it. 

Even the tenants that do occasionally have financial issues are really no trouble if they follow my process for late payments. 

No more upkeep ever, spray it occasionally with Roundup to control weed growth.

I will occasionally do a quick drive by the property to see how the outside is being kept, lawncare etc.  

Occasionally telling me about what he learned and why he is excited about the prospect (without being pushy, just talking about it excitedly).