The first one had 25 cars on the property celebrating a birthday party.

The step up in basis, as I understand, is generally when all the parties with the interest in the property pass on --- there are subtle variations when dealing with married persons such as Joint by the Entirety (as its call in NJ as if I remember correctly).  

And it feels like that's what I'm doing: expecting third party results to be some kind of magic trick. 

While my helper was on your standard rental showing appointment, talking with another interested party, a young woman unlocked the window in one of the bedrooms in the back of the house and the top part of the window slammed down on her fingers.

We're all in the same boat with rates going up... hopefully these next rate hikes are already priced in 

The LLC part is really not important if you are only going to have one property, although I do recommend umbrella insurance to cover your ASSets.  

The majority of your fees in a purchase are 3rd party fees not related to the lender.

Is a double close contract along the same lines but separate for each party? 

You simply cannot do this unless you know exactly what's involved, and many times that means that you know exactly why trying to pay a third party to do it is would so likely be an exercise in futility that you either choose to do it yourself or don't do it at all.I have given up on exactly two properties so far and sold them before I rehabbed them.

I had to find and interview every party( surveys, architects, realtors, etc.).