I think this page on the IRS website should answer many of your questions.This answer from the page may be most relevant:Q.

Few yards outside the city limits.I'm a flipper and want to deduct all my business trips in and out of town.Or should I say "Metropilitan area".So I want to know how my house can qualify as 'Home Office' for Mileage deduction without ever filing for the Home Office deduction.In other words, How do I tell/prove IRS I have a home office?

You are considered to be "disqualified person" to your 401k, and according to the IRS rules there can't be any transaction between the plan and such party.

Is it reasonable in the eyes of IRS for the owner to get paid per hour instead of fixed monthly salary?

But if you do the IRS sees that as a taking of profit and you pay tax on the difference without jeopardizing the rest of the 1031 exchange. 

Yes - but what's your IR currently on your VA loan?

So I end up getting money back from the IRS.

I was preparing for visit to IRS office already!

IRS allows $15k gift per person per year.

The IRS formalized these with Rev Proc 2002-22.